Our expert says:
Your mom sounds like an unpleasantly manipulative and selfish person, doesn't she ? And by 60 she should really have been mature enouh not to get into an abusive relationship or to stay in it. She should contact a group like POWA that helps abused women, and not expect you to come to her rescue. If you've been trying to help for some 8 years, and she has chosen to remain with the abuser, there's nothing much more you can do. You cant help her if she refuses to help herself.
Especially in these circumstaances, she can't expect you all to support her and have her live with you, if she can't be bothered to be sensible, polite and grateful. She needs to see someone local to her for counselling and advice, not to expect you to do everything at long distance
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