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Question
Posted by: XXX | 2012/02/22

Dealing with problems and embarrasment

I have been having on and offs with my partner for over two years now. And I have always been of the opinion that she is too controlling and not supportive. I have also attempted couple counselling and she did not seem interested as she believed we should just go to church and it will work out. Over the years, she has changed a lot, or perhaps grown somewhat distant as well. And all our past arguments seem to creep up in every conversation to a point where we cannot talk to each other without arguing about something.

Everytime we argue she cries, as she feels pains and often I have to stop it or agree with her and apologise even if she is wrong. At some stage I thought she was sick or something because when we argue she would cry and I felt it was not normal. Since then....I have decided to do some self introspection and try to discover what am i doing to cause this problem. I discovered that I might have Attention Deficit Disorder and I have made means to see a counsellor...I also did the most stupid thing, mistakenly forgotten the application to see a counsellor form on the fax machine and my collegue found it and read all my business.

Now I am embarassed as I know soon everyone will know what I am waiting for the super gossip

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Obviously just going to church did NOT work things out, and valuable though it is, it is NEVER a substitute for needed couples counselling. Everything you describe suggests strongly that such counselling is needed. Sorry about the nosy colleague ! Maybe you should leave increasingly bizarre forms on the fax machine until it becomes clear they cant possibly all be true, and until nobody's sure what, if anything, might be true.
But maybe after you make progress in individual counselling, you can persuade her to join you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/22

Obviously just going to church did NOT work things out, and valuable though it is, it is NEVER a substitute for needed couples counselling. Everything you describe suggests strongly that such counselling is needed. Sorry about the nosy colleague ! Maybe you should leave increasingly bizarre forms on the fax machine until it becomes clear they cant possibly all be true, and until nobody's sure what, if anything, might be true.
But maybe after you make progress in individual counselling, you can persuade her to join you.

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