advertisement
Question
Posted by: Concerned parents | 2010/01/07

Daughter' s dilemma becomes our' s

My daughter, who had the ability and opportunity to study, chose to go to Bible College. There she was indoctrinated to believe the most ridiculous, unrealistic principles, alien to everything we had taught her. Honouring your father and your mother didn' t even feature on the agenda. She met and married another Bible College student against our wishes. He swindled money and lied to her and deceived her until, in desperation, after 5 years, she got a divorce. She ate humble pie, came back to us and we helped her get out of debt and back onto her feet. For two years she was getting along just fine when she met another ex-Bible College student - a thrice married, dim-witted weakling with nothing to his name except 2 children and, unbeknown to her, several debts. They invested in a ridiculously overpriced property, relying only on the recommendation of an agent they' d never met. Shortly hereafter, her husband resigned his job claiming that, due to the recession, he was not earning enough. My husband advised him to start his own business and we moved down to the coast to retire. A year later we discovered that he had had himself declared insolvent leaving my daughter with a property debt of a quarter million Rand. Once more we offered our support and advice, but she was furious with us for having discovered something she had been unaware of. We persuaded our son, who is a lawyer, to give her legal advice and now she' s again turned her back on us, fuming that at 35, she doesn' t need to report to us. Do we step back and allow her to ruin her life? What should we do?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

One can't help wondering which Bible these nasty young people were supposedly studying. SOme of these colleges seem to provide indoctrination rather than education, which does a disservice to any Bible.
Sad if your daughter is blaming you for her own voluntary blindness. If she insists on stubbornly ruining her life by a determination to be naive and ignore good advice, she is already far too old for youto be able to intervene. Maybe she really needs to learn the results of the choices she made.
I understand how aring you are, but to always rescue someone from the results of their own foolishness tends to encourage further fooloshness rather than sensible reform

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Concerned Parents | 2010/01/09

Thank you Cybershrink and Liza. Sound advice, confirming what we had decided to do. We are not meddling parents and have only given advice when asked, but our daughter claims " divine guidance"  and afterwards admits to regretting she didn' t follow ours. I guess, as sad and hurtful as it is to see her ruin her life, we have to accept it' s HER life to do with as she pleases. Fortunately, there is no embargo on prayer.

Reply to Concerned Parents
Posted by: Liza | 2010/01/08

Don' t do anything. It is her life to live as she sees fit at the age of 35. This includes not bailing her out again. It actually sounds like you WANT her to be dependent on you which is definitely not a good idea. She' s only going to learn a lesson if you allow her to make mistakes. If my parents were this over-protective, I' d tell them to mind their own business too. The only thing you can give is advice and ONLY give her advice if she asks for it.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/08

One can't help wondering which Bible these nasty young people were supposedly studying. SOme of these colleges seem to provide indoctrination rather than education, which does a disservice to any Bible.
Sad if your daughter is blaming you for her own voluntary blindness. If she insists on stubbornly ruining her life by a determination to be naive and ignore good advice, she is already far too old for youto be able to intervene. Maybe she really needs to learn the results of the choices she made.
I understand how aring you are, but to always rescue someone from the results of their own foolishness tends to encourage further fooloshness rather than sensible reform

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement