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Question
Posted by: Neels | 2012-10-31

daughter passed away,how do i cope???

hi cs,
My daughter pased away in 2009 aged 12 after a sudden sickness (virus in hart) while on holiday with family.My wife andi was working so did not go,we had to make the diccision to switch off the machines and i was present al the time till the end.I then started drinking a lot got better went off the track went to see my pastor etcTo cut a long store short we do have a younger daughter whom is 12 this year and she seems to be doing good so does the wife but for me ist been difficult,the last couple of months i tend to be very forgetfull,repeat things/news to the family and friends,battle to fall asleep to such an extend that my sister told me to go for mri scans,blood tests etc.At my work every thing is fine and i tend to do very well.
My question is where to i start? Do i go to my gp or make an appoinment with a Shrink i have no idea.I live in Pretoria
Any help will be appriciated

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm so sorry to hear of this, and maybe even more so, that you have waited since 2009 till now without getting the proper professional help you deserve. A pastor may be AMONG the people who can help, mainly with spiritual aspects of your grief, but they are not properly trained as a psychologist is, to understand the full depth of your grief and to help you cope with it.
You may also be experiencing "annicersary" type worsening of your unresolved grief, as your second daughter reacher the age of 12.
You need and deserve more than the help of a GP. A Psychiatrist could handle the physical aspects of a check-up to make sure there are no physical problems complicating this, which need attention in their own right. But most SA psychiatrist are far too biologically oriented, and tthus keen to prescribe drugs and don't have the nexeccary skill to handle psychotherapy. In your situation it is the latter that you need, as no drug is in itself useful in dealing with grief.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-10-31

I'm so sorry to hear of this, and maybe even more so, that you have waited since 2009 till now without getting the proper professional help you deserve. A pastor may be AMONG the people who can help, mainly with spiritual aspects of your grief, but they are not properly trained as a psychologist is, to understand the full depth of your grief and to help you cope with it.
You may also be experiencing "annicersary" type worsening of your unresolved grief, as your second daughter reacher the age of 12.
You need and deserve more than the help of a GP. A Psychiatrist could handle the physical aspects of a check-up to make sure there are no physical problems complicating this, which need attention in their own right. But most SA psychiatrist are far too biologically oriented, and tthus keen to prescribe drugs and don't have the nexeccary skill to handle psychotherapy. In your situation it is the latter that you need, as no drug is in itself useful in dealing with grief.

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