Posted by: Spark | 2009-05-07

Daughter - Blankie

Hi, My daughter is 10. Very cheeky and stubborn. When she doesn' t listen I take her blanky away. This upsets her very much, she sops at times and other times she cries histerical for it. Is waht I am doing right? It does seem to help, she does things now without me having to nag her 3 or more times. She has become very helpful around the house.

She had her blanky since she was born, blanky goes nearly every where with her. She was in hospital for 3 days, she hid blanky all the time, I told it wasn' t neccessary. Is it healthy for her to cling to her blanky like that? Should I take it away from her for good? of leave her to out grow it herself?

I am a single mom and maybe that has got something to do with it. She is a self-assured confident little girl. maybe she feels insecure about something.

Thanks for your time.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She is 10 years old and still frantic about a blanky ? How immature ! This is not normal or necessarily healthy, and leaves her vulnerable if it should get lost. Just taking it away, though, will only upset her. Talk calmly with her about how this is something babies use to comfort themselves, and kids give it up after a couple of years. Praise her for being big and more clever now, so that as a growing woman she won't need the blanky any more. Encourage her to put it aside --- somewhere safe, so she knows it is there, and can carry the sense of confidence and security with her, and not need the blanky to carry it in. Maybe i would be wel for her to see a child psychologist / child psychiatrist to check her out and to help make this more easy for her.
Similarly with her having been cheeky and unhelpful --- have clear simple rules, and rewards, including praise, when she does this properly and keeps to the rules, and when she does not, she loses points towards things she wants, or loses privileges for a time

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