Posted by: LizRed | 2009-07-01


The father of my child who is 4 and I was never married. We have a good relationship, both of us are married (to other people). She has an excellent relationship with both her father and her step mother, whom she visits over weekends. They now wants her during the week aswell.
Will this have any negative influence if she grows up in two seperate homes. Is she to young for this? We have the same routines, rules in both homes? Would you suggest that I take her to a child psyc? She is a happy well behaved child.

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Our expert says:
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This is a complex arrangement, isn't it ! So long as the people in both households have generally good relationships, and there is no obvious conflict, the child should not be adversely affected --- and your point about keeping to the same routines and discipline ( and other ) rules in both homes, is important. If she is a happy and well-behaved child, there's no need to take her to a child psych. Remember the old saying : "If it ain't broke, don't fix it ". As I now see Anon has also remarked.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-07-01

I would say that it depends on the reason why her father wants her during the week as well. If her rule boundaries and routines are the same in both homes, it shouldn' t cause too much of an uproar. And sending her for a psych evaluation after a period will show whether there are any problems. If she doesn' t act up after a weekend away from you and stays happy and well-behaved, there shouldn' t be a problem.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Anon | 2009-07-01

I think she needs stability and if what you have is working for now, keep it that way. She is far too young to make up her own mind about this.

I really think if its not broken, don' t try fix it.

Reply to Anon

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