Our expert says:
Unless they are idiots, which is really unlikely, I don't see why the school would think of you as a failure as a parent - these sort of problems commonly arise in this and similar situations, with all types of parents, excellent and maybe not so excellent.
OK, now, all those Mom Hate messages in her book must have been very upsetting for you, and if seen by the school, might lead to them worrying about the kid, though not about you.
She is not entitled to belittle you or make a fool of you in front of others, whether visitors or teachers. She may be thinking that if she is unpleasant enough, you will send her to stay with her dad. And her reasons for wanting that may not actually be about anything bad about you - if you are being a good parent, she may want to evade your attempts at normal discipline, and may think dad would be more indulgent.
But these are all issues you should discuss in person with the therapist seeing her, so as to help you fully understand what is going on and how best to handle it.
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