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Question
Posted by: sarah | 2010/05/18

dating an addict

Hi my fiance OF 5 years is an ex alcoholic and cocaine user. he has been clean for 2 years now. the problem is that i drink but not alone with him and only 2 drinks occasionally/socially. last week he told me he has a problem with me drinking and wants me to stop cos it makes him uncomfortable, he said wives and gilfriends of addicts dnt drink...wat should i do?

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Our expert says:
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Hi there

It's nonsense that wives and girlfriends of addicts don't drink, I've never heard of such twaddle. You should advise him to discuss this with his sponsor, as something else is at play here.

He might be experiencing strong cravings, or he is looking for an excuse to start a fight and then go and use.

Is he working the programme? Is he attending meetings? Does he see his sponsor regularly? if not, he is in trouble.

I would suggest that you speak to someone in Alanon. In fact, I urge you to speak to a member of Alanon and get their opinion as well.

You can Google them for a meeting near you. In the meantime, don't let him hold you hostage. Addicts think the whole world revolve around them. Please!

If you can't drink in front of him, meet your friends privately and enjoy your glass or two. Just don't start a fight until you've spoken to an Alonon member.

Herman

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Addictions Expert Forum | 2010/05/18

Hi there

It's nonsense that wives and girlfriends of addicts don't drink, I've never heard of such twaddle. You should advise him to discuss this with his sponsor, as something else is at play here.

He might be experiencing strong cravings, or he is looking for an excuse to start a fight and then go and use.

Is he working the programme? Is he attending meetings? Does he see his sponsor regularly? if not, he is in trouble.

I would suggest that you speak to someone in Alanon. In fact, I urge you to speak to a member of Alanon and get their opinion as well.

You can Google them for a meeting near you. In the meantime, don't let him hold you hostage. Addicts think the whole world revolve around them. Please!

If you can't drink in front of him, meet your friends privately and enjoy your glass or two. Just don't start a fight until you've spoken to an Alonon member.

Herman

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