Our expert says:
Whoever gave you that advice might not be the best informed person to do so. Obviously there are, occasionally, situations in which it may not be adviseable to tell a person the truth about their medical condition and outlook, generall lying is a bad idea. Of course the telling should be done skillfully, and really good doctors will be well able to do this.
When someone is very seriously sick and feels awful and fears the worst, either being told unrealistic lies about how well they are, or not being told anything at all, may be much more frightening and demoralizing.
Don't concentrate so much, as one easilt does, on what to say to him, as though tere's a magic formula that'll make everything all right - but chat with him, over time, about his condition, what HE thinks is heppening, and how he feels about it, and what he wants.
He p[robably knows more about what's happening than his doctor thinks, and if he is mistaken about some aspects of his illness ( he may be imagining things even worse than they are ) nobody can comfort him without knowing that.
If he was a religious man, and had a pastor he knew, it would be good for them to meet, but for a pastor he doesn't know to arrive out of the blue would probably be more worrying than helpful - but if at some stage he says to you there are things he'd like to discuss with a pastor, offer to arrange that. Talk about what he wants.
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