Posted by: m | 2009-10-31

Cyber dating

dear doc

for the past few months i' ve been emailing a person i met through this site. he had a problem and i had the exact same problem so i put my email address for him to chat if he wanted(yes i know thats not allowed on the website). anyway we' ve been emailing everyday. we also chat on the phone and sms. we' ve shared stuff with eachother that we' ve never told anyone else.we sort of connected. now i know its weird but i consider him my best friend and i' ve never met him. he' s a wonderful person. the thing is he' s always on my mind and for a while i' ve felt kinda in love with him. i even have intimate dreams about him. is it possible to love someone you have never met? i' m i delusional? am i setting myself up for disappointment?

any advice would be appreciated.

thanks so much

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not the same sort of love as occurs in a real-time, face-to-face relationship, but obviously, just as people can fall "in love" with e film or pop star they have never met, you can feel fond or ( or more ) someone like this you know more about and with whom you have shared intimate concerns, before meeting them. But consider it more a sort of provisional fondness. And you've identified one of the biggest risks - that you may allow your hopes and expectations to build up so greatly that even an excellent person could be disappointing.

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