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Question
Posted by: Bongi | 2010-03-09

CS

Thanks for your response to the venting.

What happened is that I have full custody of the kids and he has visitation rights (according to the divorce order). Now - everytime the kids visited him he refused to return them and then I go to court and an order is made for the police to accompany me to fetch the kids. This happened EACH time they visited. Each time the court ordered the same thing because he gave no reasons to take the kids.

When we went to the high court it was the same story. The high court judge advised me to file for the high court to discipline my ex-husband - but I ran out of money to file for that. So when he took them in March I gave up the court thing. Legally I still have the custody but I just don''t have the energy to fight for the enforcement anymore.

He also fought me a lot outside court and that''s where he really got me because he knows exactly which buttons to push. e.g. he told the children that I am a very bady mother and I tried to kill myself. That happened before the kids were born - why would he tell them something like that and what would kids do with such information, it''s too big for them to handle.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SOunds appalling ! Any sensible self-respecting judge or maistrate would consider i contempt of court any time someone ignored the decisions of the court like that, and would put hm in jail if he repeated the offense. and it is for THEM to discipline him for having contempt for them, not for you to have to pay extra for them to enforce the law - that's what their salary is for !
Have you tried, for instance, the free law clinic at your nearest law school ? Maybe even the family advocate at the maintenance court ? Sometimes getting a keen young law student involved helps a lot as they have more time to work on it and may have more novel and creative ideas.
I'm sure the kids still realize that you love them, and that their dad is deliberately trying to make problems for their mom. And as they grow older, it may become all the more obvious to them

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-03-09

SOunds appalling ! Any sensible self-respecting judge or maistrate would consider i contempt of court any time someone ignored the decisions of the court like that, and would put hm in jail if he repeated the offense. and it is for THEM to discipline him for having contempt for them, not for you to have to pay extra for them to enforce the law - that's what their salary is for !
Have you tried, for instance, the free law clinic at your nearest law school ? Maybe even the family advocate at the maintenance court ? Sometimes getting a keen young law student involved helps a lot as they have more time to work on it and may have more novel and creative ideas.
I'm sure the kids still realize that you love them, and that their dad is deliberately trying to make problems for their mom. And as they grow older, it may become all the more obvious to them

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