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Question
Posted by: Confused | 2011/08/23

Cry for help

I have a 23 year old brother, He doesn''t school nor work. He dropped out of university 2009, I am not sure what was the problem and how it started, He was a straight A student since primary, secondary. He always loved Medicine, his dream was to be a doctor, he passed his Maths and Physics excellently, A genius to be precise but when he wasn''t admitted to Medunsa for Medicine, he opted to study at Unisa Pretoria Chemical engineering everything seemed to fall into pieces, He doesn''t interact with anyone, hardly talks unless you ask him anything. He is well physically and he has been seeing psychologists but things just don''t seem to be getting better, the whole family is getting frustrated every single day. I don''t want to give up on my brother,I''m not sure if the problem started when he was at Secondary because he would cross night busy studying, everythingwas about books and collecting as much information as possible.I just want to know how I can reach out to him. Please advise

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he is seeing psychologists ( perhaps through UNISA ? ) that is good, though one would hope they had identified any significant problems and would be helping him with these Maybe he has been battling with severe disappointment about not getting into medical school ? If he had good marks, especially in maths and physicas ( as so many applicants don't ) he shouldn't have had problems getting into medical school. Maybe Medunsa wasn['t the best choice and perhaps he should also have tried elsewhere. I have no confidence in the wisdom of the selection processes at Medunsa.
There's no magic way to reach out to him. You presumably know him well, as your brother. Chat to him, about how his studies are going ( or was it UNISA he dropped out of ? ) , how he enjoys the courses. How he feels about not getting into medical school. You might ask whether the psychologists he has been seeing are being useful for him. Perhaps indicate that you and other family members worry about him, because you all love him very much, and worry that he seems sad and lonely and would like to help. Maybe he might even give permission for you to speak to his counsellor for advice on how to be most helpful to him

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/23

If he is seeing psychologists ( perhaps through UNISA ? ) that is good, though one would hope they had identified any significant problems and would be helping him with these Maybe he has been battling with severe disappointment about not getting into medical school ? If he had good marks, especially in maths and physicas ( as so many applicants don't ) he shouldn't have had problems getting into medical school. Maybe Medunsa wasn['t the best choice and perhaps he should also have tried elsewhere. I have no confidence in the wisdom of the selection processes at Medunsa.
There's no magic way to reach out to him. You presumably know him well, as your brother. Chat to him, about how his studies are going ( or was it UNISA he dropped out of ? ) , how he enjoys the courses. How he feels about not getting into medical school. You might ask whether the psychologists he has been seeing are being useful for him. Perhaps indicate that you and other family members worry about him, because you all love him very much, and worry that he seems sad and lonely and would like to help. Maybe he might even give permission for you to speak to his counsellor for advice on how to be most helpful to him

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