Our expert says:
There are several things you need to know that might help:
1) it is a very normal occurrence that hunger/libido reduces for women in a long term relationship - even when you still love your husband very much. Don't misread this as a sign of any problem in the relationship, it's something you need to work on to manage as best you can - try to refocus your attention on him, try to drive your desire for him (we can do this - eg..plan a date, have a nice pamper that makes you feel sexy and seduce him even if you feel no 'hunger' to begin with). If you do feel that your husband is wonderful, I'm assuming you wouldn't want to do anything to damage the relationship, so don't...read on...
2) we are capable of falling for multiple people, the chemistry is the same as it is in the beginning of most new relationships - we experience the effects of lust hormones and changes to our neurochemistry, so try to level yourself/sober up; those hormones can impair judgement! If you are feeling this in relation to this man, try to keep yourself 'safe' by not getting yourself into vulnerable situations (you'd be surprised how this can happen 'by accident'!). Just because you could 'fall' for multiple people doesn't mean you have to let this happen - i.e. act on it. As a western woman, I assume that you are part of the value system that adheres to monogamous relationships - this is not always easy and it sounds like this is your first test! If you do believe in monogamy and faithfulness in relationships, make sure you are armed with the 'traps' to help yourself pass the test.
3) if you wait this out/ignore the feelings, you may find that the more you get to know him, the more you realise how he doesn't match what you would want in a man; only part. It may be that that is how your feelings will subside, and I think they will in time.
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