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Question
Posted by: Vasha | 2012-03-06

Crazy Needs

I feel i am going mad. I am torn between two guys and i am not sure what to do. Well my story goes i am white 30 female working professional however i don''t socialize at work. I then met this very wonderful Indian guy who has loads of everything materially and physically. I liked him alot and was always picked up in Amazing cars and had the best of everything however he disappeared for a year due to Business and yesterday called me up and we got together and we chatted and visited for a whole 10 hours he was clearly trying to make up for lost time and i really enjoy his company he makes me laugh and is the most amazing person ever. However last week a long lost friend also appeared out of the blue that had disappeared for 8 years due to his personal life and him not knowing wether he wanted to be gay or straight. So he contacted me last week and told me his whole story and asked me to have supper with him on Saturday so i said ok nothing wrong with having supper with a friend, as both of them are really friends at this point in time. However Friend B that was in between his sexuality wants more he wants marriage and children and we were madly in love 8 years ago but i am really not sure now and what and how i feel now. I text him daily but he always has an excuse that he is busy or his family is keeping his busy (Family being his mom and dad and sister. ) But then he will send me texts out of the blue saying he wants to elope with me and be with me only and we should run away (Not that that will happen as he is 36 and white) Now i am really confused because i dont know what or who to pursue although yesterdays visit from Friend A was stunning and amazing and everything that i really want in a guy friend and he is exciting and will do fun things with me. My problem is i think i am scared of committment and i am not sure how to deal with it. Friend A is always available but going away for a year for Business was hectic but we were not dating so he is free but Friend B that disappeared for 8 years and now maybe wants to settle down i am not sure. Am i scared of committment and how do you really get used to being with one partner for so long. I belive i can stay with Friend A for the rest of my life but Friend A is not ready for such committment as we are both flying high in our jobs but Friend B is already high in his job and ready for committment. How do i ask for an HIV test as well if anything should develop??? Help today i was crying about missing Friend A and i think my emotions are all over the place. Do you think i should give Friend B a chance but he really is not exciting.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you're very attracted to highly superficial and very materialistic "relationships" - it seems its more his cars and possessions you find attractive than the guy himself.
The way you describe these relationships is so very highly coloured and extreme worded, as though you wish to live in a soap opera.
According to your own descriptions, A is not ready for nor wanting committment and settling down, only occasional fun that doesnt interfere with his career path ' B sounds far too desperate to settle and have children, maybe to try to resolve his remaining doubts about his sexuality.
Maybe you should look for less excistment and flamboyance in relationships, and look more for nice, affectionate calm ordinary people.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012-03-06

Are you saying that you are a Virgin Vasha?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon Guy | 2012-03-06

Are you ready for commitment? Do you know your HIV Status?

Reply to Anon Guy
Posted by: Linus | 2012-03-06

It must be full moon again...

Reply to Linus
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-03-06

Sounds like you're very attracted to highly superficial and very materialistic "relationships" - it seems its more his cars and possessions you find attractive than the guy himself.
The way you describe these relationships is so very highly coloured and extreme worded, as though you wish to live in a soap opera.
According to your own descriptions, A is not ready for nor wanting committment and settling down, only occasional fun that doesnt interfere with his career path ' B sounds far too desperate to settle and have children, maybe to try to resolve his remaining doubts about his sexuality.
Maybe you should look for less excistment and flamboyance in relationships, and look more for nice, affectionate calm ordinary people.

Reply to cybershrink

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