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Question
Posted by: Flirt | 2010/11/30

Craving other men

Hi Shrink! I have had a boyfriend for 3 years, and we''ll be getting engaged soon. I''m still in my early twenties and I feel the need to still explore. There are so many gorgeous men and I don''t see why (so early) I have to be limited to one. Is this normal to " crave"  other men?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Explore what ? Mesopotamia and Tasmania ? For a woman to be interested in men is of course natural. To feel that you can't get engaged unti, you have slept with a whole lot more men, suggests you are not yet mature enough to get engaged to anyone. You've been close friends for 3 years - were you faithful then, without any other exploration ? If not, why do you feel the need to explore suddenly now ? If so, why were you thinking of engagement ?
If the identical message ( OK, substituting "women" for "men" were posted by a man, I suspect many readers would have been less sympathetic

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Flirt | 2010/12/03

Thanks, Been There. :)

Reply to Flirt
Posted by: been there, got the t-shirt | 2010/12/03

That feeling will NOT go away. After many years of marriage i am constantly reminded of the impact of my decision to marry young and without messing around first. I fall on love with every one i see thinking how cool it would have been to marry them, or date at least. this keeps me on a borderline to messign up my marriage and hurting everyone.

You are clearly not ready.

Reply to been there, got the t-shirt
Posted by: Flirt | 2010/12/03

I didn''t suggest I want to sleep with many men. I simply meant I that I know I''ll be marrying my boyfriend in the future (a few years from now), but don''t know if the fact that I want to have relationships with other men means I won''t be happy being married to him one day. I was asking whether my boyfriend could still be the one despite these feelings, or if I should end this relationship and find someone else. (in short, i wondered if it was normal and if these feelings would pass.) I''ve never been unfaithful and I find the response offensive and downright rude.

Reply to Flirt
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/30

Explore what ? Mesopotamia and Tasmania ? For a woman to be interested in men is of course natural. To feel that you can't get engaged unti, you have slept with a whole lot more men, suggests you are not yet mature enough to get engaged to anyone. You've been close friends for 3 years - were you faithful then, without any other exploration ? If not, why do you feel the need to explore suddenly now ? If so, why were you thinking of engagement ?
If the identical message ( OK, substituting "women" for "men" were posted by a man, I suspect many readers would have been less sympathetic

Reply to cybershrink

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