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Question
Posted by: Cindy | 2011/07/15

Couple''s therapy

I am 26. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months now. The first few months were incredible. We were even talking about getting married one day etc. We were madly inlove and couldn''t get enough of each other. Then about a month ago we started having fights. We''ve been fighting on-again off-again but trying our best to work through things. We''ve resolved most of the issues we''ve been arguing about, but we just can''t seem to move on from here. We both want to get back to the place where we were both so happy, but it''s like all the fighting has built a wall between us. I''m really trying to forgive, forget and move on, be he seems to be held back by uncertainty on a fear of us hurting each other again in the future. He has now proposed that we go for counselling together. Will this help us at all? I really want to fix this... I love him, but I can''t help but feel it''s a bad sign to have to go to such measures so early in a relationship. Is this a sign that we are just not compattible?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The first few months are usually the easy part. If you are resolving the issues that are involved in fights, but keep on fighting, then the fights aren't really about those issues, and there are also problems in your shared problem-solving skills. Couples counselling is an excellent idea. It may well help, and at least if you later decided to part, it could be done calmly and comnstructively, and knowing more about how relationships work so as to be better able to avoid such problems in the future. Why not try it ? If help is needed, it's a bad sign NOT to go for it when it is needed. FAMSA is a good source for advice on good local counsellors

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/15

The first few months are usually the easy part. If you are resolving the issues that are involved in fights, but keep on fighting, then the fights aren't really about those issues, and there are also problems in your shared problem-solving skills. Couples counselling is an excellent idea. It may well help, and at least if you later decided to part, it could be done calmly and comnstructively, and knowing more about how relationships work so as to be better able to avoid such problems in the future. Why not try it ? If help is needed, it's a bad sign NOT to go for it when it is needed. FAMSA is a good source for advice on good local counsellors

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