Posted by: Susan | 2012-11-13


Good day, My fiance and I are fighting all the time. We keep on blaming each other. He blames me and then I defend myself. He cannot let go of past mistakes I have made and keeps pointing them out. I accuse him of withdrawing from the relationship and he says he is emotionally shut down because I did A, B and C in the past and he cant get over it. Yes I was wrong for yelling at him in public but he drove me to it. I apologised but he cannot forgive me. We recently moved into a new house and I was hoping for happy new beginnings. I am the only one working on that. He also told me he doesnt miss me anymore and doesnt want me anymore. I cannot sleep next to him since he told me that. It is so upsetting being close to him and I find it easier to just sleep on my own. The positive side is that he has agreed to go for couples counselling. Will it help? To me the relationship seems beyond help.

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Our expert says:
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Doesn't sound like a wholesome relationship, does it ? His reactions sound immature and problematic, and until and unless they can change. It may be worth trying couples counselling, together - it can only work if you are both committed to compromising and learning new skills and finding ways for things to work, but its worth trying. If it fails, at least you can part with a clear conscience and hopefully with you both having learned some useful things to avoid landing in a similar situation in the future.

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Our users say:
Posted by: David | 2012-11-13

separate for awhile and see what happens.

Reply to David
Posted by: Maria | 2012-11-13

It will only help if you are both willing to work hard at the relationship and yourselves.

Reply to Maria

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