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Question
Posted by: Lebzaa | 2012/02/27

Could it be am not over him?

I broke up with my boyfriend last year in April. We were very dysfunctional and tried to make it functional without any success. We were both okay. In December he came to visit for a week, we slept in separate rooms and I was dead sure that I am over him.

Yesterday a newly found friend asked me if I know him since she once came to visit in my complex sometime ago, tho she does not remember the apartment she visited. On enquiry I learnt that she came to my house and they actually had sex. I am hurting and kinda confused. Am I hurting because am not over him or what? The brother is out of employment and I am assisting financially. My reaction to the whole thing shocked my system.

Any idea why behind such a reaction. Any idea is welcome, just be brutal honest with me. I hate what I am feeling.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I really believe that an ex should be EX. Someone who visits you, sleeps over, has sex with someone else but in your house, IS NOT AN EX. That's a current relaionship. I don't know who's brother you are supporting financially, or why.
ANd is this woman friend expecting you to support her brother ( why does he deserve that help and why can't she support him if he deserves support ), while sleeping in your home with your "ex" ? None of these people you describe are behaving like genuine friends. Leave them behind, and take your time to find some real friends

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Lebzaa | 2012/02/27

Tx Doc yaah I guess at times we try soooo hard.

Maria tx very much for the reply.

Reply to Lebzaa
Posted by: Maria | 2012/02/27

Well I think it''s reasonable to feel shocked when you find out that someone cheated on you in that way, even if you''re no longer in a relationship with him. Even if you''re now just friends this will surely affect the way you look at him if you didn''t think he is the kind of person who would cheat. While it is possible to end a relationship and still stay friends, in my opinion that usually leads to problems. Imagine e.g. that you meet a new guy that you''re really attracted to and want to go out with. How will he feel about your ex who still visits and sleeps over, and relies on you financially?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/27

I really believe that an ex should be EX. Someone who visits you, sleeps over, has sex with someone else but in your house, IS NOT AN EX. That's a current relaionship. I don't know who's brother you are supporting financially, or why.
ANd is this woman friend expecting you to support her brother ( why does he deserve that help and why can't she support him if he deserves support ), while sleeping in your home with your "ex" ? None of these people you describe are behaving like genuine friends. Leave them behind, and take your time to find some real friends

Reply to cybershrink

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