Posted by: Concerned Friend | 2012-02-08

Could he have stopped affairs and drugs after doing it for more than 6 years???

There is a guy I know who is married, has two children out of the marriage, and another child from an affair whilst married and the wife has taken the child into their home. He has had affairs with other women after the episode of having a child with one of the woman who he had an affair with. The next woman he had an affair with introduced him to cocaine, which he continued using after the affair ended. He then just moved on to other woman. His latest victim, was someone who did not do drugs, he encouraged her to try them and then fondled her and did not stop when she asked him too, even though they did not have sex. The drugs was his draw card and she kept going back and started having sex with him. Luckily she broke away from the drugs and the cycle she was involved in with him. He has now contacted her after a long time and declared that he is clean and gave it all up 3 months ago, the drugs, the woman, the wreckless sex and is true and honest to his wife. I find it hard to believe that a person like that can change after 3months and afraid that this woman is going to fall into his clutches again. How do I try and remind her of her experience without letting her think I am jealous of her relationship with him? Is there a chance he has changed and is calling her out of concern and regret of what he put her through?

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Our expert says:
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He sounds like a truly horrible person with no shred of respect for women, an d treating badly any woman oolish enough to let him ge close. Why on earth do you choose to remain close enough to his grubby life to know all these sordid details ? It is EXTREMELY unlikely that he would ver give up a way of life that is so pleasant for him and awful for others, and one would be dangerously naive to believe him when nhe makes this claim. If by some miracle he had changed enouh to actually care about her, he wouldn't cntact her again. I agree with Liza

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jenna | 2012-02-10

Well look, people do decide to come clean and he may be clean after a few months, but the addiction will always be there.

He could have been a sex addict too.

But why is he calling women while he is still married? Maybe he just wants to apologize to her for what he did (getting her hooked)? Or maybe he''s looking for a little bit of action.

Quite frankly, fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. If this woman is silly enough to even consider any kind of relationship with him, it''s her problem. They are adults, they don''t need to be reminded like children.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Liza | 2012-02-08

He''s MARRIED. Obviously he hasn''t changed. He just wants to take up where he left off. Tell your friend that she deserves more than just being a losers'' mistress. Ask her whether she truly wants to get something like HIV, because that is all she''ll have left of the relationship when he''s through with her. And 3 months are far too soon to tell whether someone has really changed.

Good Luck

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