Our expert says:
We try to cope wwith whatever life flings at us, but sometimes, the challenges accumulate and mount up, and even the most capable of us have limits as to how much we can cope with at once or within a short period of time.
Nice and responsible people like you, tend to take responsibility even for the evil acts of other people, and to find ways to blame ourselves for the actions of others.
Any one of the several ugly events you describe could have the potential to cause PTSD or similar post-traumatic problems, which include an excessive sense of vigilance, and and expectation of doom and gloom. Such conditions tend to respond well to a combination of mediation ( such as many drugs also used to treat Depression ) combined with specific forms of psychotherapy / counselling, such as CBT.
YOu say you're "in therapy" but you don't mention which form of "therapy" this is. Personally, based on decades of experience, I NEVER ever recommend psychoanalytic style therapy, as there is still, after all these years, no good and convincing proper scientific evidence that it works or is worth the enormouns cost in cash and time, but only an accumulation of excuses trying to explain why proper scientific research and evidence isn't an appropriate way to assess it.
EMDR is rubbish. It makes sense, and sounds like a good idea, but not only is there no good evidence to show it is useful ( let alone anything like as useful as those who sell it claim ) but there's a surprising amount of really good evidence that it can even be damaging. I never ever recommend it.
CBT has probably acumulated to most current good evidence of usefulness in a range of conditions. AAnd its especially focussed on helping you to learn to assess and change such unhelpful habits of thought as you describe. And generally its effective without dragging out for years, as does analytic therapies.
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