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Question
Posted by: Pinky | 2009/11/25

Coping

I need your advice please. I’ m struggling to cope with the break up of my relationship. I was involve with a guy whom I have known for more than 10 years and only started dating a few months ago.
We had a good relationship but then he' s behaviour just changed. First he made excuses for me not to come to his place than he made excuses not to come and see me and just as I wanted to brake up with him he would come back begging to make up and for me not to leave him. I got tired of his cat and mouse games and decided to end the relationship.
I know that I should get over it and move on but for some reason I just can’ t seem to. It feels that I have lost control over this situation and I can’ t control my feelings. I cant sleep , i cant eat i am constantly thinking about this. Am i going crazy? This is so frustrating because I can usually cope with difficult situations. I know I still love my ex but how do I just get pass and over this pathetic mourning stage and move on? I keep on telling myself that I do deserve better and it was his lost but still it just can’ t get my self confidence back. Why is this so difficult for me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like you had sensible reasons for wanting to break up with him, including his obvious ambivalence about being in a relationship, which may well have had nothing actually to do with you. You're not going crazy, but you do sound unduly attached, still. to a guy who is not sufficiently loving. Maybe you're sad not only at the loss of this rather recent closer relationship, but at the loss of the long-twerm friendship.
You don't say how recently this happens, but a few weeks of turmoil isn't unusual. Get busy with other activities, and let this pass. You know in your head you are lucky to be free of him, but your heart is just taking a litle while to catch up with your head

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2009/11/25

That song called " Breaking up is hard to do"  sums it up well.It is difficult and time does eventually heal.
Try and start doing things to take your mind off him ie gym,go to friends,braai etc etc
Good luck,it will get better

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/25

Sounds like you had sensible reasons for wanting to break up with him, including his obvious ambivalence about being in a relationship, which may well have had nothing actually to do with you. You're not going crazy, but you do sound unduly attached, still. to a guy who is not sufficiently loving. Maybe you're sad not only at the loss of this rather recent closer relationship, but at the loss of the long-twerm friendship.
You don't say how recently this happens, but a few weeks of turmoil isn't unusual. Get busy with other activities, and let this pass. You know in your head you are lucky to be free of him, but your heart is just taking a litle while to catch up with your head

Reply to cybershrink

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