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Question
Posted by: me | 2010/01/28

continually wishing my husband would be in an accident....

Hmmmm, how wrong is it for me to be constantly wishing my husband dead??? I love him but not the way a wife should. We have a five year old daughter. I am so tired of been blamed for everything and been spoken down to! The only time he shows affection is when he wants sex. And that is the last thing on my mind!

We never talk about the problems we have, he will be able to say his side and then shuts me down when I want to say my side!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he is no prepared to consider that there are problems and that he might be a significant part of them, and he doesn't want to work with you in marriage counselling to solve the problems, consider separatio and divorce. You'd need legal advice - but maybe it's the marriage that is dying, and he need not do so.
Divorce can be good for kids, and is usually better than living in a miserable home. Some divorces are nasty for everyone, but usually only after mariages that were already even worse for everyone

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: S | 2010/02/08

Leave him. You, as a person, are worth just as much (if not more) than he is, and in the 21st centuary there is no need for any woman to take cr#p from a man anymore. Your life and that of your child will be better without him.

Reply to S
Posted by: Been there | 2010/02/05

I think that (unconsciously?) you believe that if he were dead it would be finished and klaar, and then you could get on with your life! Whereas, after divorce you would still have to deal with him because you share a daughter. Perhaps you need to talk to a shrink? Getting advice from a lot of people in a forum like this will probably just make you confused!

Reply to Been there
Posted by: understand | 2010/02/05

I understand you, I have been there, unfortunatley my husband did die in an accident, I now deeply regret those words. In spite of everything that happened I miss him, his death had a big impact on everybody, when I saw the consequences, it was horrible, I never put real value or thought to those words, it' s different when it really happens, becareful what you wish for! It' s not always for the best in the bigger scheme of things.

Reply to understand
Posted by: jvb | 2010/02/04

Kill him

Reply to jvb
Posted by: NvR | 2010/02/04

From a man.... Walk out!!!! It might take some time to recover, but turn your back on him. There might be a real Prince on a White Horse waiting for you. I have been in an unhappy marriage for more than 10 years, believing it is the best for the children. After my eyes were opened, did I realise that the divorce was the best thing ever for both my children. Bite the bullit.......JUST DO IT

Reply to NvR
Posted by: Mel | 2010/02/04

I' ve been there and got out. My kids are happier and doing a lot better since the divorce.
Just do it!
You will get past all of it, one step at a time. But you and your child deserves better.

Reply to Mel
Posted by: I feel for you | 2010/02/04

Hi. I feel for you. I' m also in an unhappy marriage and don' t have the guts to walk out, because of the kids and I also still love him...we share so much history. I hope that both of us will find the courage to change our lives for the better this year.

Reply to I feel for you
Posted by: me | 2010/01/29

Shoo thanks everyone! But I just wish I was strong enough to do what you are all suggesting! I know that this is slowly killing me inside but am soo scared of confronting him etc!

How do I get past this all?

Reply to me
Posted by: charms | 2010/01/28

life' s too short for this....be brave and walk away

Reply to charms
Posted by: woman | 2010/01/28

Get a divorce if there' s nothing worth saving. As dr. phil says: kids would rather come from a broken home, than live in one" 

Reply to woman
Posted by: R | 2010/01/28

If he does not want you to tell how you feel, write a letter to him explaining how you feel but you have to communicate!!!! or else you will get so tired after another few years that your thoughts might drive you into acting out what you feel now!!

Reply to R
Posted by: Confused | 2010/01/28

get a divorce...

Reply to Confused
Posted by: me | 2010/01/28

I know I need help!!!! Its nothing to do with money! Its our child! I am so worried about disrupting her life with the mess of a divorce! Yes its a thought

Reply to me
Posted by: Whena | 2010/01/28

Why wish him dead?

Can you not go for couples therapy and sort things out?If not why not just divorce the man? Or is it that you will get more money if he has a accident?

Reply to Whena
Posted by: Apple | 2010/01/28

You need help.

Reply to Apple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/28

If he is no prepared to consider that there are problems and that he might be a significant part of them, and he doesn't want to work with you in marriage counselling to solve the problems, consider separatio and divorce. You'd need legal advice - but maybe it's the marriage that is dying, and he need not do so.
Divorce can be good for kids, and is usually better than living in a miserable home. Some divorces are nasty for everyone, but usually only after mariages that were already even worse for everyone

Reply to cybershrink

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