Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-04-24

Confussed about husband

Either I am loosing it or my husband hates me.

We have been married for 16 years. He does not care about our finances (which at the moment is in shambles) spends money on I dont know what and when I confront him he gets cheesed off. He cann' t stand my teen son, always insults him and when I give my opinion and tel him that it is uncalled for I take sides..... example my son asked questions about banking, interest etc which they are studing at school. Husband snap and says you asking a load of stupid questions irrelevant to what you are learning, so what if the kid wants to know more. Welll he blew his gasket. Another one, I can tell him the sky is blue he will argue and say its not, something simple.

I keep getting the feeling he is frustrated, does not want to be around us unless he can sleep. Gosh he can sleep. Wakes up on a weekend, has breakfast coffee and falls asleep on the couch?

Its difficult to treat him like a man/husband, when he acts implusive and child like. He has become unapproachable, we scare he gets mad. Kids speak to me to speak to him and when I do,,,, well hell breaks loose. I tell the kids to speak to him and they just wont. They only answer his questions and hope they dont get yelled at.

Coming back to the money issue, I actually asked him if he is supporting someone else... explain where R10.000 goes?

Marriage counciling, therapy done it worked for 3 moths and back to himself again. My youngest had to see a therapist re his temper etc it boils down to being understood and also considered as a person.... tell that to my husband.

Friends he has none, I have friends which become his friends aswel (not mind at all) but then he insults me and them when we alone?

Help !!!

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Our expert says:
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Also sounds as though your husband may know less about banking, interest, etc., than your young son ( not clear from your mesage -- is he not also your husband's son ? ) I gather that the annoying behaviour you escribe represents a CHANGE in how he was behaving until relatively recently ?
Interesting that he took part in counsellign for a while and showed some improvement for a time --- apparently, the counselling stopped too soon. Maybe resume it, and include on the agenda the fact that real progress was made previously, but not maintained. And check --- the oversleeping and irritability might indicate that he has become depressed, and men are especially bad at either recognizing or admitting that

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