Our expert says:
What he is asking for is highly unrealistic and unreasonable. He is YOUR husband, and he chose ( presumably not forced at gunpoint ) to have a sexual affair with another woman and to get her pregnant. He has shown a selfish disregard for the problems this will inevitably cause you, her and most of all the child, and a consistently lousy moral and practical judgement.
So for him to ask you to just trust him and allow him to make all the decisions about how he will now run his life ( and yours ) without even discussing it, is selfish and foolish.
Yo are right to notice that there is a large gulf between what he says and what he does. When something like this happens, always listen to what he does, and discount what he says, which is usually manipulative.
And he has nom right to insist that you keep all this a secret from your families, especially your own - tell your family and freelly discuss it with them, that is your right, and you have a right to get support and advice, which he is denying you. And if your family choose to tell his, so be it.
He has been deceiving you, and maybe her, and is insisting on deceiving both families. He has no right to insit that you or anyone else leep that a secret.
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