Our expert says:
Abusers ALWAYS blame their victims. And their victims are NEVER to blame for the abuse, even if they may be unhelpful or even accidentally encouraging of it, in how they respond to it.
Let's summarize what you seem to be saying. You're not sure whether to stay with someone who was abusive for an extended period of time, and blamed you for that, who now takes you for granted, and put you through months of "hell emotionally " ? Then, when you were ready to move on and become independent he suddenly invited you to dinner and acted all loving to the extent that this confused you ?
Isn't this perhaps also a disguised form of abuse ? Most abusers are highly skilled at being intermittently loving and caring to keep their victims close to them, but don't remain consistently thus. You are still doing as he wanted, getting confused when that suits him, blaming yourself for whatever goes wrong in the relationship, letting him control it all, and scared to be independent.
Yes indeed, "it feels good to be loved and wanted" - but not at any price. There are people who will love you, and want you, without the price you have paid for this so far.
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