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Question
Posted by: AMA | 2010/07/30

CONFUSED,LONELY

I HAVE BEEN DATING MY BOYFRIEND FOR 2 YEARS NOW BUT OF LATE I FEEL WITHDRAWN TOWARDS HIM AND LONELY AS WELL.HE DOESNT WANT TO GO OUT ALWAYS SAYING HE IS BUSY.AND WHEN HE IS BUSY ITS ALWAYS ABOUT HIS SISTER WHO BY THE WAY IS MARRIED WITH THE HUSBAND LIVING IN THE U.S. SHE IS THE ONLY SISTER AND MOST TIMES HE IS ALWAYS BUSY DOING SOMETHING FOR HER.IT MAKES ME FEEL LEFT OUT OF HIS LIFE.PLS HELP ME UNDERSTAND

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are you saying you feel lonely while you are with him ? Or that you now miss him more than usual when you are apart ? If he were busy with his work, that might be easier to understand. But I find just lately there seem to be so many questions like this, where a man is pre-occupied with his sister(s) and ignores his wife or current gf.
Is the sister's husband in the U.S. for long ? If so, he should make better arrangements, perhaps for herm to join him. Talk about this in a calm way wih him - is she really so helpless as to need so much of his time ? So she is his only sister - is he her only brother, or are there others in the family who can share some of the burden of looking after her ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: AMA | 2010/07/30

YES I DO FEEL LONELY WHILE WITH HIM AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL VERY DETACHED FROM HIM EMOTIONALLY,PHYSICALLY &  SEXUALLY.MOST OF THE TIME WHEN HE IS BUSY ITS ABOUT HIS SISTER WHO ALWAYS WANT HIM TO DO SOMETHING FOR HER..HER HUSBAND COMES INTO THE COUNTRY FOR A SHORT STAY AND GOES BACK TO THE U.S.SHE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND''S ONLY BROTHER THERE IS AN OLDER ONE WHO IS ALSO IN THE U.S. AND A YOUNGER ONE WHO IS STILL IN SCHOOL IN THE COUNTRY.MY BOYFRIEND''S SISTER IS OLDER THAN MY BOYFRIEND AND WORKS AS A BANKER IN ONE OF THE FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS.SHE IS VERY CAPABLE OF MANAGING HER OWN AFFAIRS .SOMETIMES I THINK SHE USES MY BOYFRIEND AS HER "  SURROGATE HUSBAND''''.I HAVE TRIED TALKING TO HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION AND HE SAYS THATS MY ONLY SISTER SO I CANNOT BROACH THE TOPIC AGAIN COS I DONT WONT TO SOUND NEEDY

Reply to AMA
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/30

Are you saying you feel lonely while you are with him ? Or that you now miss him more than usual when you are apart ? If he were busy with his work, that might be easier to understand. But I find just lately there seem to be so many questions like this, where a man is pre-occupied with his sister(s) and ignores his wife or current gf.
Is the sister's husband in the U.S. for long ? If so, he should make better arrangements, perhaps for herm to join him. Talk about this in a calm way wih him - is she really so helpless as to need so much of his time ? So she is his only sister - is he her only brother, or are there others in the family who can share some of the burden of looking after her ?

Reply to cybershrink

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