Posted by: Ruca | 2009-09-30

Confused Unhappy wife

my husband has cheated on me twice with the same woman!, he is confused and says he wants space to think about what he wants,
i am more shocked because with the 1st time, i forgave and he earned his trust, but now after just seeing her by chance again, to cheat on me, has really left me devastated. He is still loving, affectionate but i am hurting inside, he does not give me that chance to express myself, and decides for me that because he told me, its enough, i really dnt know what to do, i have 2 kids &  i dnt want our family to break up but i dnt think i can trust him again, i think abt why he wud do this?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That's not confusion, that;s persistance ! And Space is the business of NASA and the shuttle program. WHy should he take time to think about "wat he wants" and not what YOU want ? Why is he being so selfish ? Suggest marriage counselling to help both of you decide what's best --- FAR more valuable than the vague and useless"space". I find such requests or demands for "space" usually mean --- get off my back, ignore the problem, and let me continue to enjoy myself as a please". If he isn't interested in solving the problem, see a good lawyer and remind him how much this will and should cost him

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: MaGoDiZ | 2009-10-02

Well! do not confuse yourself with so called men disease because most of husbands and fathers do not realise that being a man is deadly disease. Being a husband and a father is a serious commitment that most men cannot handle and end up being men. Men are selfish, lusts...but I applaud you for standing out and seeking for help for your man and self. You are such an insperation. Don' t give up on your marriage that easily.

Reply to MaGoDiZ
Posted by: Pearl | 2009-10-01

Im so sorry to hear about this. His actions clearly show that he knows that you would understand again cause he came off easy the first time. Nevermind the same woman, its infedelity again after you gave him 2 kids? Its going to be difficult being both with him and without, so you have to choose which road you want to take. Remember you can follow all the advice but you are the one that is going to face any consequences. And when the word consequence is mentioned, people like to link it to a negative conotation, its not the case. Kids in todays life are not an excuse. It would be difficult for them yes, but rather have seperate happy parents than have mom look sad all the time :-).
And at the end of the day they are out of the house and you are alone with all the emotions. Most people say its selfish, but dont you have the right to be? Good luck and God Bless!

Reply to Pearl
Posted by: Ruca | 2009-09-30

thanks for all the comments, much appreciated,
i have been living a lie thinking he will change, but everyone is telling me what i shud have known already, that he is a selfish man who only thnks abt himself &  his wants, not mine,
even after telling me abt her, he still keeps in contact wud her,making me the fool here,
i will think abt all comments and keep you posted abt what i decide to do.

Reply to Ruca
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2009-09-30

Sorry to say but you sound like those poor unfortunate woman who get bashed and battered by an oaf of a husband and say " But I love him"  and continue to hang around as a punchbag.
Just who does he think he is ? With infidelity its " One strike and you are out"  No second chances, no i' m sorry, no I made a mistake and it wont happen again, no nothing. Its over my girl. I mean you saw this for yourself, you allowed him to deceive you when he supposedly " earned his trust"  all the while laughing up his sleeve. First thing is move away or get him out of the house. Then get to see a good divorce lawyer and take him to the cleaners. Screw him for everything you can and make sure you get a good maintenance agreement. Just do it or you will spend the rest of you life in hell, believe me. Good luck. Give us some feedback on what you decide.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-09-30

The doc is right. this man is being selfish. You forgave him the first time and now he feels its okay to do it again as long as he tells you. A man with a loving wife who forgives him the first time for chaeting doesnt deserve a second chance if you ask me because it is clear that he doesnt respect you.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Lady man | 2009-09-30

Maybe you are the problem.

Reply to Lady man

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.