Our expert says:
There are some men who identify as heterosexual and who also have sex with men - whilst some might describe this as 'bi'. Whilst some may define sexual orientation in terms of the gender you are sexually attracted to, others may define it more in terms of the gender of person you wish to be in a relationship (including sexual) with... I would encourage you to explore your sexuality verbally, ideally with an objective non-judgemental person (e.g. therapist, counsellor, trusted unbiased friend). For example, is it the idea of being anally penetrated by a man that excites you, or just the idea of being anally penetrated? Do you feel comfortable with your gender identity? Additionally, whilst in your current relationship,I would encourage you to abstain from acting on your fantasy as such a betrayal not only has psychological consequences for your girlfriend should she find out, but also presents significant health risks should safe sex methods not be used or fail for some reason.
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