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Question
Posted by: Ti Amor | 2010/09/20

Confused Italian Mamma

Good day,
I have dual citizenship SA Italy. My brother emigrated to Europe last week and since then I have been in turmoil. I love SA but should I rather go to Europe for my daughters sake? My brother keeps telling me to come there (oh by the way, he is divorcing is wife of 24 years. She emigrated with him, started up a house there together and then they are getting divorced - strange but true). He has a good qualification and a good job, he doesn''t realize that I am a single mom with no other finanacial back-up. I would love to give my daughter a great education future, here she does to government school and with all the strikin, i wish I could do more for her. Here I have a house, a great job, etc. The thought of WHERE DO I BELONG? has been coming up so often in my mind that it is confusing me so much. I have started over in my life once to many times, I don''t know if I can do it again, but if I need to do it for my daughter, I will. I am so confused. Any any advice would be so welcome. Thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Actually a complex question. Why would you be needed in Europe "for your daughter's sake" ? Do you think she would have a better life there, rather than here ? Is it perhaps your brother, faced by divorce, who fels he wants you there ? And if so, shouldn't he rather work through this himself, independently ?
Here, you say, you have a great house and job, in a country you love - if you went to Italy would you be likely to be able to match that ? What, essentially, does she need that she doesn't have or can't get here ? And would she be likely to get that in Italy ?


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Our users say:
Posted by: Ti Amor | 2010/09/20

Yes I will be able to stay with him, but I have no idea how to speak German as that is where he is. My daughter (11) said she wants to stay in SA but if we have to move, we have to take the pets with. THis I can''t do as it costs a fortune. I can''t hurt her b leaving the pets behind, she was hurt to many times with pets dying or having to give them away because of her allergies.

Reply to Ti Amor
Posted by: Anon | 2010/09/20

Hi there,

I want to pack up and leave as well, but am in a similar boat. I am married though. My hubby and I always talk of giving our 4 kids a better opportunity in life. But we also have a house and jobs, depsite them not being high paying jobs, we manage. The thought of having to start over from scratch is very frightening.

Will you be able to stay with your brother for a little while, until you get on your feet?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/20

Actually a complex question. Why would you be needed in Europe "for your daughter's sake" ? Do you think she would have a better life there, rather than here ? Is it perhaps your brother, faced by divorce, who fels he wants you there ? And if so, shouldn't he rather work through this himself, independently ?
Here, you say, you have a great house and job, in a country you love - if you went to Italy would you be likely to be able to match that ? What, essentially, does she need that she doesn't have or can't get here ? And would she be likely to get that in Italy ?


Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/20

Actually a complex question. Why would you be needed in Europe "for your daughter's sake" ? Do you think she would have a better life there, rather than here ? Is it perhaps your brother, faced by divorce, who fels he wants you there ? And if so, shouldn't he rather work through this himself, independently ?
Here, you say, you have a great house and job, in a country you love - if you went to Italy would you be likely to be able to match that ? What, essentially, does she need that she doesn't have or can't get here ? And would she be likely to get that in Italy ?


Reply to cybershrink

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