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Posted by: student | 2008/07/22

confused - depressed enough to quit uct?

hi< br> i am in first year at uct, have been seeing a psychologist for about five months, and am not on any meds. going back to university has made me so, so depressed. last semester i spent the last few weeks like this - not doing any work, skipping classes, trying to sleep away the time and make the holiday come quicker. so now i feel the same. if i was happy during the holidays, could it be that i just don& #39 t like university and am not really depressed? i can t do this for another six months. i really don& #39 t know what to do.

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Our expert says:
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Surely ther psychologist you have been seeing is the right person in the right place to advise you about this ? Avoiding work and classes is insisting on having the worst deal around.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2008/07/23

Maybe just put your studies on hold for 6 months or a year. Then after that go back.
If you aren' t ready to tackle it just make yourself a deal. Say you' ll take the year and work, or whatever. Then after that you' ll be back at uni.
Or maybe even start looking at distance learning...

Reply to Lin
Posted by: 123 | 2008/07/22

4 years. < br> < br> If you start making an effort now, this bad period of your life won& #39 t last forever. I did enjoy university at times, especially when I got good marks. Once you have good moments, bad moments will also be easier to overcome. What I mean is, instead of being depressed everyday and every hour, there will be days when you will still be depressed (usually if you are really under pressure), but on most days you will feel ok, and sometimes you will even enjoy university. < br> < br> But if you don& #39 t give it a try, you will never know. My brother quit school before he finished high school. He was like you, he wasn& #39 t sure if he wanted to go on, then he started skipping classes, then he missed exams...... Then he quit. One year later, he regretted it so much that he tried again. Once again, he quitted after a few months. Now he will try again. But once you get into the habit of going the easiest way when things are difficult, you will do so all your life. So these 4 years of work are really worth it. In the end, you will feel so happy. I have friends who also skipped a few classes and lost one year, so are finishing their courses now, while I did last year. Believe me, even if the same happens to you, I mean if one year doen& #39 t go well and you have to repeat it, it& #39 s still okay. But please, try. Believe it or not, having a degree will make your life a lot easier and will spare you a lot of problems in the future that might lead to depression (and you know when you are older, it& #39 s a lot worse). < br> < br> No matter how hard it is, don& #39 t try to hide behind your depression. It is no excuse. It is the same as when you know you are close to falling into a deep hole and you are holding on to a rope. Then your hands start to hurt and you say: I can#t take this anymore. Someone says: hold on, I am coming. And you let yourself fall. < br> < br> Well, I don& #39 t know what else I can say, I know how hard it is and all I wish is you would try and overcome this. I know it would some more pleasant to hear that you should quit and that you should talk to your doctor etc because you are really depressed. But that& #39 s the worst you could do. If you give in, you will be postponing things in your life like getting a good job, having a stable family life and other things that will only make you happy and might be the cure for your depression. So I say suffer now to avoid a life-long suffering.

Reply to 123
Posted by: student | 2008/07/22

cs - what do you mean by " insisting on having the worst deal around" ? i am going to ask my psychologist, but because it is very expensive i can only afford to go once every two weeks. and it is a long time. < br> < br> 123 - thanks for the good wishes, but how long did you keep that up for? i was like that in high school - did very well but hated every second. i can& #39 t do it for another four years.

Reply to student
Posted by: 123 | 2008/07/22

I think you just don& #39 t like university. I felt the same as you. I was brilliant in high school, I worked a lot, I came home around 6pm and would go to bed around midnight every day (I only stopped to eat something quickly or go to the bathroom). Then when I went to university I was exausted. I had no interest for anything. I threw books against the walls, I made holes in them with pencils. I got so violent because unlike you I tried to fight against my will. I never skipped any classes, never failed to do my homework or prepare an oral presentation. I fought like mad against myself, and I did it so well that people thought I still liked to study. Teachers also said I should keep up with the good work. So it kind of gave me a little strength. But just before the end of term, when I had lots of exams, I almost lost my mind. I would read and pay little attention, then I would keeop telling myself " I don& #39 t understand this, I can& #39 t understand this, why can& #39 t I understand this?"  I was cry and once I even laughed like mad while I was crying. My sister was beside me and it made me so ashamed. I really thought I was mentally ill. Her reaction made me feel like that. She almost shook me and looked into my eyes and said: you are sick. She didn& #39 t but I could picture her doing that, the way she spoke to me. < br> Well, the last year was the worst. I thought I would never make it, but I did. I passed all exams, partially with very good results indeed. I adopted an animal just before exams and it kept my spirits up. It would sit on my lap the whole day, and every time I got angry, I looked at it sleeping on my lap (it looked so cute) and said: just one more page. Even one more page and I succeded. < br> Don& #39 t be mad like me, but maybe adopting an animal or having something you really love might help you go through this more easily. Don& #39 t skip classes. If you do, things will always get worse and then you will have LOTS of things to learn and revise and it& #39 s so much work that you might lose your interest altogether. Try to make a little effort the next semester and GOOD LUCK! When you get good results, you will also feel a lot better.< br> If you see you are depressed during the holidays, see a good doctor. But as you pointed out, I guess it really has to do with university.< br> < br> Good Luck and remember that once you have finished your degree, you will be very proud of yourself :)

Reply to 123

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