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Question
Posted by: decaro | 2011/10/14

confused confused help HELP

i had an affair a few years ago cos of no sex in my marriage but we got back together and the sex was fantastic toys and the works
Bjs all the time even tried anal a few times she even did a few shows for me with a vibe

But recently she told me that she only did it to make me happy and hated it and now we back to square 1

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It seems that you have different expectations with regard to sex. It also seems that it is sex the way you prefer, with little choice for her. Your coping of sexual challenges with an affair and the covert insinuation that you will have to do it again, is selfish and a health risk for you and your wife. A good sexual relationship is GIVE and take. What are you giving? She tried to make you happy - how did you make her happy? Go for counseling and meet her half way. Deidre - SASHA

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Hope | 2011/10/20

The first thing you have to work on together is her regaining your trust. I am not going to judge anyone that has had an affair as I can relate 100%. I also did alot to make sure my guy will not wonder off again but it was like loveless sex. Without trust there is no hope.

Reply to Hope
Posted by: decaro | 2011/10/15

thank Diedre for your input .
I have not insinuated that i wud do it again but rather want to make it work for us.
However i have tried on several occasions to get her to tell me how and what she wants with no success.
please let me have a contact for a councellor in cape town.

Reply to decaro
Posted by: decaro | 2011/10/14

she wont allow an open relationship

Reply to decaro
Posted by: Anon | 2011/10/14

If the sex is so important, why not just leave her and find yourself somebody that does it for you? Alternatively, have an open marriage which is stay married but you get your little bit on the side with the wife''s knowledge. Either that, or she comes to the party and meets your needs. That is my views.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/10/14

It seems that you have different expectations with regard to sex. It also seems that it is sex the way you prefer, with little choice for her. Your coping of sexual challenges with an affair and the covert insinuation that you will have to do it again, is selfish and a health risk for you and your wife. A good sexual relationship is GIVE and take. What are you giving? She tried to make you happy - how did you make her happy? Go for counseling and meet her half way. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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