advertisement
Question
Posted by: Mad Bell | 2010-09-28

Confused and lost

Hello CyberShrink,

I need some advice. I am a lesbian who has been dating this woman for nearly a year. Since I met her, she has been obsessed with this man friend of hers (also a previous lover). She says he is like a brother to her, yet he treats her like she is like some sort of bacteria. He broke so much of her trust, he cheated on her twice that she knows of. She says she needs to fill an empty hole in her heart because she never had the chance to meet or have a brother (he hung himself before she was born.)

She is continually miserable because of him, he is her every thought, he is the one that makes her depressed more than she already is. I don''t know how much longer I can last with this obsession, I love her so much, more than anyone I have ever met, she says the same.

I have spoken to her many times about this, many fights, I feel like he is the centre of our relationship. I know this is not a romantic issue, and I just don''t know what on earth it is. My minded is boggled. I need some advice. I was a regular on here a few years ago so I know you are honest and perceptive.

What do I do?

Thank you so much.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Talking of needing to fill a gap for a brother, etc., is an elaborate excuse. Many of us have never had a brother, and that doesn't need to lead to obsessions with someone else, especially not with someone who apparently doesn't want her around any more ?
Surely, both because of the degree of depression in her which you notice and describe, and because of the apparently unwholesome nature of this relationship with this guy, she should be persuaded to see a psychotherapist to sort out her apparently many issues ?
I wonder whether she clings to the remnants of a relationship with the guy who doesn't want her, as a sort of limitation on her ability to commit herself to anyone else ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-09-28

Talking of needing to fill a gap for a brother, etc., is an elaborate excuse. Many of us have never had a brother, and that doesn't need to lead to obsessions with someone else, especially not with someone who apparently doesn't want her around any more ?
Surely, both because of the degree of depression in her which you notice and describe, and because of the apparently unwholesome nature of this relationship with this guy, she should be persuaded to see a psychotherapist to sort out her apparently many issues ?
I wonder whether she clings to the remnants of a relationship with the guy who doesn't want her, as a sort of limitation on her ability to commit herself to anyone else ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement