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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010-10-25

Confused &  Scared

Goodday, I seriously need advise on this matter. Daily I have thoughts of whether my wife cheated or not. I''m unable to directly ask her coz she will never tell me the truth. There were previous occasions where things could have happened but when I confronted the situation, I was told that I don''t allow her space and she doesn’ t have privacy. I do suffer from biopolar and it’ s difficult to move forward or be happy as each year something happens and then sets me back. I found an email that a guy sent her that really is inappropriate to her being a married woman. She never told me about it. How do I deal with this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It sounds as though, though you may have some small basis for such suspicions, they may stem mainly from your own sense of unhappiness and doubt, rather than absolute reality. Seeing a psychotherapist to help you work on these issues as well as the broader issues of the bipolar disorder could be a really good idea - and maybe also work towards some marriage counselling to sort out the more general and important matters of trust and distrust, rather than an individual e-mail.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2010-10-25

Perhaps you could tell your wife how much it would mean to you if the two of you can go for counseling together? If she isn''t willing to go for counseling - it smells fishy. Perhaps she does have something to hide....

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Anon | 2010-10-25

Thanks so much for the feedback. I somehow manage to control myself and not get sick. It might be that she is protecting me as she knows how depressed I can get. But then again, I prefer honesty from the start. It could also just be the devil wanting things to go wrong in our marriage. She will never go for counselling with me. I''ve been for counselling many times before and that is why I can controll the situation to a level. However I am funny with her and she notices it but does''nt know what it is about. I just don''t want things to continue behind my back for years and not knowing whether my marriage is in good or bad health. It is still confusing in a way.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Liza | 2010-10-25

Is your wife secretive because she has something to hide? Or is she secretive because she doesn''t want you to worry about something that just isn''t a big deal to her? Perhaps you could try couples counseling together to find out whether there is a real problem, or whether she''s just trying to protect you (albeit in the wrong way at the moment)

As for being bipolar - you should really accept that there will ALWAYS be setbacks. You just need to learn how to handle the setbacks better. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy is excellent for this.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-10-25

It sounds as though, though you may have some small basis for such suspicions, they may stem mainly from your own sense of unhappiness and doubt, rather than absolute reality. Seeing a psychotherapist to help you work on these issues as well as the broader issues of the bipolar disorder could be a really good idea - and maybe also work towards some marriage counselling to sort out the more general and important matters of trust and distrust, rather than an individual e-mail.

Reply to cybershrink

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