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Question
Posted by: confused???? | 2010/07/26

confused after raunchy sex

my partner and i have recently started exploring some exciting things in the bedroom, nothing too major but just dirty talk and differnent positions and wearing things that turn him on. but now he says that is turning him off? what??? am i missing something? isn''t that what men want a whore in the bedroom? i am a sexy woman and it can''t be that? what am i doing wrong? we only had sex like 2x this weekend and he couldn''t get it up one of the times, so its not like i''m demanding so much from him? what is going on all of a sudden? he likes porn and hard stuff like that but seems to be so boring in bed even though he says that he isn''t ... what can i do? i find this new way so exciting and makes me feel like we have just met again.....don''t want to go back to the same boing sex that just makes me wanna go to sleep! Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

to find answers to your questions, it is best to ask him yourself. start the conversation with asking him to identify what he finds sexy, arousing, stimulating etc. confirm that you will try your best to assist in fulfilling his interests. afterwards, communicate the stuff that you find arousing and ask him to committ to these ideas as well

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/28

well guys i''m happy to tell you that i did not cheat on my husband and would never do that! Turns out my husband has gotten used to this wilder side of me and loves it!!! showed me how much last night! so there is always hope with love....believe its important to tell each other what your desires and fantasies are and share them between the two of you and then you wont have to go out looking for it somewhere else.

Woman....good advice girl.
Cheers for now

Reply to confused
Posted by: me | 2010/07/27

and yeah good luck on maybe getting an infection - you are such loosers, you are going to cheat on your partners - maybe this girl is a pro....

Reply to me
Posted by: Woman | 2010/07/27

I agree with you Another anon, however a sexology forum is not a pick up site. People who use this forum as a pick up site are sad, stupid, dumb and uncouth.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: another anon | 2010/07/27

life''s too short for boring sex. why not experiment and find excitement again, i agree with confused.

Reply to another anon
Posted by: anon | 2010/07/27

Most people think they would like their fantasies acted out and brought to life but when that actually happens they regret it and prefer that it had just remained a fantasy in their heads.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Woman | 2010/07/26

One evening, after a pub crawl with my friends, we ended up at Teazers. There, a guy tried to pick me up and I said to him: imagine we hook up and three months down the line you meet my famly and we tell then we met in Teazers. THhe mental picture grossed me out just too much. One of my friends had to step into boyfriend role for the night after that.

Reading your posts gives me the same creepy feeling I got that night from that man - like I want to wash my brain out with Jik.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

What''s a girl to do if she is not getting any from her husband and if after talking to him still nothing happens.............lets just say for our eyes only....

Reply to confused
Posted by: Jakes | 2010/07/26

Jeewis guys but you two have been chatting each other up big time! And that on a sexologist''s advise forum! I would love to see some of the heated e-mails that are without doubt going to fly between you two!

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

K its a long story - i just cant leave her, wish i could but i cant

Reply to Anon
Posted by: K | 2010/07/26

Anon, if you keep saying you want your girlfriend to be different why are you still with her? Clearly you are not happy...be a man and stop dragging her along!

Reply to K
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

Is that a problem? Yep i did give it out once before

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

that is so clever...you have given it out before hey?

Reply to confused
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

LOUWR05 at gmail dot com.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

yes what is it?

Reply to confused
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

Confused can i give you my email addy we can chat off this forum?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

was just wondering if you had experience with it. Once you do you never want to stop. Anyway i''ll see if my husband is in the mood tonight, i know i certainly am. How do you live out your fantasies than if you don''t get it with your girlfriend? how long have you guys been going out? how old is she? maybe she needs something to increase her sex drive? have you tried that? i wish i could give my husband something that would make him so horny for me.

Reply to confused
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

She would not allow me to try those things (strawberries and cream etc.) and i wish my girfriend was more like you. Me too i would locve to try so many other things. No i have not experienced dirty sex with other women other than my girlfriend. why do you ask?

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

Wow..what did you say... I" m not sure what my views are on porn.. i really enjoy watching it sometimes but don''t often do that, but prefer the real thing. Have you tried cream and strawberries and champagne wtih your girlfriend, maybe it will help her loosen up? How old is she? Man i wish my husband was more like you.... there are so many more things i would love to try. Have you ever experienced dirty sex with other woman other than your girlfriend?

Reply to confused
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

Thanks for the advise Confused - i tried it once and she got upset and i never tried or spoke to her about it since. She does not even allow me to watch porn. Your husband is a really lucky man - i cant understand why he is pushing you away.
" how could a sexy woman, willing to please her husband''''s every desire, fulfilling every porn fantasy ..be a turn off? "  this would be a reall turn on for me.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused??? | 2010/07/26

Anon have you spoken to her about it? I found out a really horrible way that my husband was turned on with dirty sex by finding sms from some dating line that he was chatting to other girls. Then when I spoke to him about it and suggested that we try something more exciting and dirty he was game and we had an awesome night on saturday was really raunchy but then on sunday we bought strawberries and cream for the afternoon for our afternoon play and suddenly he is tired and wants to watch tv then all of sudden he says i''m suddenly turning him off??? The reason i''m telling you this is because i was just like your girlfriend boring and didn''t enjoy it that much until i discovered the other side of me in the bedroom...perhsps you should whisper some dirty things in your girlfriends ear when next you guys are having sex? she might surprise you!! She''s really missing out its a real turn on!!!!!!! i never wanna have boring sex again! how could a sexy woman, willing to please her husband''s every desire, fulfilling every porn fantasy ..be a turn off?

Reply to confused???
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

Confused i am not married but do have a girlfreind whom lives with me. Unfortunately we dont - she is boring in the bedroom. I am lucky if i do get once a month. When it happens she just lays there and waits for it to be over. Wish it was more exciting and she was more like yourself.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

well i''m so glad that i''m not the only one then!! Anon do you and your woman do that? do you feel a bit turned off when your woman becomes a bit demanding for it?

Reply to confused
Posted by: XXX | 2010/07/26

We are all made differently amd maybe you gone a bit too far with what he expects and desires.
Let him know that you enjoy raunchy/dirty sex and how far would he like it to go.
Dirty talk and sensual sounds does turn a man on but I guess it could go too far.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: confused | 2010/07/26

nah i don''t think he is seeing someone else, i''m with him all the time. what do you mean vanilla sex?

so Anon am i right in saying that dirty talk turns a man on? or is this just a fantasy that they would rather keep a fantasy and not make it reality? i''m confused??

Expert??? what do you think?


Reply to confused
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/26

Maybe he is seeing someone else.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Woman | 2010/07/26

Remember that even the raunchiest whore sometimes just opens her legs. Vanilla sex should also be part of the repertoire  )

Reply to Woman
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/07/26

to find answers to your questions, it is best to ask him yourself. start the conversation with asking him to identify what he finds sexy, arousing, stimulating etc. confirm that you will try your best to assist in fulfilling his interests. afterwards, communicate the stuff that you find arousing and ask him to committ to these ideas as well

Reply to sexologist

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