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Question
Posted by: Lee | 2013/01/16

Confused

My husband knows that i have been looking into starting a lil business for myself but i did not have the stuff i needed to start. Finances has always been an issue. With the cost of living being so high and realising that i cant survive with salary alone i visited the idea again towards the end of last year and we spoke about it in December. Last week i thought of a different angle that will not require more money and i started researching. I gave him my proposal on weekend and he liked it and encouraged me to go ahead with it. Obviously i''ve been spending most of my free time doing research.

My husband hates his job with a passion and is more of an entrepreneur and i have always supported him. He''s now thinking of leaving his job to focus on business and as scary as it is i do support him. He''s been into business before so he knows how it goes. Now monday night he asks me why do i wonna go into business now, what brought it up. I reminded him how i''ve always been talking about it and how i only thought of a different angle now. He doesnt believe me, he thinks im doing it either to impress him, to compete with him or i have alterior motives which i dont. He says he needs somebody to support him and if im now focusing on my business too i wont be there for him. And it brought out the issue we always have that i dont know how to be a woman if i was a good woman i would be saying ok i know i have this good idea and since my husband is going through this period let me just park it and be there for him so he gets his business off the groud and when he''s sorted i can focus on my own.

He wanted me to study which i didnt because i wasnt sure what i wanted to do between MSc and PDM so i asked him if its not the same. I''ll be attending after work or doing my assignments so i wont be home or free most of the time, is it not the same when im doing work for the business.

Please advice me here.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Petty | 2013/01/16

I think your husband is competitive and it goes further to the point of possible jelousy if there is a threat of a personn doing better than him. Best pill is to sit him down and iron out the issues as soon as now because i can assure you if not it is only going to get worse.

good luck!

Reply to Petty
Posted by: Lee | 2013/01/16

I think its more of emotional support Petty which i am giving him, i might be new in this thing but i dont know what makes him think i wont be able to support him. Anyway its another issue which we always fight about that i''m not woman enough for him i dont know how to be a woman etc etc. If i was i wouldnt even have mentioned it worse pursue it since i know he''s working on his. I think thats my issue, had he sat me down and talked about his fears not start telling me how less of a woman i am and questioning why im doing it.

We doing way to different things so we cant work together.

Im really not sure how i feel about this one, i''m excited about the business and glad that i will be doing something other than my work as i dont wonna study just for the sake of studying especially if its something i''m not sure about.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Lee | 2013/01/16

I''m not planning to quit my job Amasi, mine its something i can do after work and weekends its not a major thing but should there be interest i have someone to work with.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Amasi | 2013/01/16

Just tell him it is not competition but corporation. It is a problem if the business will require you both to quit work, if not pursue it and hopefully it will work.

m2fmtq

Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Petty | 2013/01/16

What kind of support is he looking to get from you that you will not be able to give if you are busy with your own business, emotional, financial or business support? Have you both thought of going into business together seeing that you both have the head for it?

I do not know your relationship but if my husband were to ask me to put my dreams on hold for his own benefit, i would deem that selfish.

Reply to Petty

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