Our expert says:
Ever notice how some of the most serious arguments within a relationship are often not about the most serious actual issues ? Or rather, they're about much less serious events which gain potency by reflecting the real issues that trouble us more deeply.
This argument is probably not about fishing. But whether he was thinking of going off on his own or with some mates, your suggestion while having surely its own attractions, wasn't quite what he had been picturing for some time, and maybe he also wanted to spend some time alone, for whatever reason.
OK, as you point out, he has been on many fishing trips this year alone, and was hardly running short on fish.
What would happen if you ignored this particular fishing trip, and asked instead about his BRILLIANT suggestion of planning the joint getaway for a bit later on ( emphasizing what a great idea of His this was, makes it far harder for him to back out of it ) and simply make suggestions and ask what ideas he has for that getaway, surely not too far into the future, especially now that the weather is at last improving ?
Emphasize that you were uneasy about the relative importance to him of fish versus you, but you never asked him to cancel that trip, and still hope he'll enjoy it AS WELL as the trip with you.
And if he is presently grumpy about the idea, simply say that you appreciate his generosity in thinking about this, but would much rather go away with him for a long weekend when you are both in a better mood to really enjoy it.
Dont accept the invitation to feel guilty or bad. Sounds like the children's need to postpone was the best reason for postponing the fishing, which was probably not done in regard to your concerns anyway
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