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Question
Posted by: Phumlani | 2012/04/12

Confused

Hi CS

My fiancee and I have huge problems. Late last year I have paid lobola for her and the wedding is due March next year. We have had altercations and feuds as any other couple involved. Recently her anger has been intensified. On Tuesday midnight she kicked me out of the her rented flat saying that she doesn''t want me anymore and I shouldn''t contact her ever again. she claim I don''t feel for her when she''s emotionally down. Her granparents whom she was raised by have recently passed away(late last year). She accused me of not feeling her bereavement. could this person be my life long partner should I mitigate the situation or I should seek better options?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dont give up yet, until you each understand each other rather better. Maybe if her parents are not in the scene, and she lost her grandparents, she feels you are the only person around she can try to rely on to be interested in her feelings. But its also common for men and women tom find difficulty in understanding each other's feelings and how they express them.
Just as marriage counselling is always a good idea and a good investment before a married couple decides to split up, I recommend the very similar couples counselling before an engaged / seriosu couple decide to split up - or indeed, before they decide to go ahead and get married if they are already experiencing major emotional difficulties. The counselling shouldnt be meant as a glue to stick you two together come what may, but as a useful exploration to help you understand yourselves and each other better, and to make a better informed decision about marriage.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/04/12

Dont give up yet, until you each understand each other rather better. Maybe if her parents are not in the scene, and she lost her grandparents, she feels you are the only person around she can try to rely on to be interested in her feelings. But its also common for men and women tom find difficulty in understanding each other's feelings and how they express them.
Just as marriage counselling is always a good idea and a good investment before a married couple decides to split up, I recommend the very similar couples counselling before an engaged / seriosu couple decide to split up - or indeed, before they decide to go ahead and get married if they are already experiencing major emotional difficulties. The counselling shouldnt be meant as a glue to stick you two together come what may, but as a useful exploration to help you understand yourselves and each other better, and to make a better informed decision about marriage.

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