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Question
Posted by: Liza | 2012/01/17

confused

good day CS

I really dont know what to do ,then maybe again i do but i just dont want to do it ,anyway ive been in a relationship with this man for close to 6 years now,did not work for a while he provised for me and his 2 kids that we live with,started working and we would share everything,i did everything in the house from the cleaning to washing clothes,he has never cooked since ive known him,to cut a long story short ,on the sixth year of our relationship,he started wnting to help around in the house ,i was happy about that because im normally tired when i get home from work,now he has taken it up a notch ,he is anal about cleanliness,makes me feel like a pig,tells me that he struggles with me because i am not clean,wants to learnhow to cook,has taken over all the duties in the house,wants to do everything and once that is done he becomes anal about all that he does,has taken over doing stuff for the kids,he is offish and is always angry at me ,does not want o engage,there is just no intimacy with us ,i feel like im living with a room mate and to top it all off he does not want to discuss anything and he maintains that he LOVES ME,please interprete that or advise me on what i should do because i feel like there is no longer a place for me in his life ,he does not need me and im considering moving out ,what do you think i should do so that i can say i have earned my way out of this relationship as painfull as it will be.please help

liza

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you do know. Odd that he seems to have changed, and become involved in household chores to an obsessive extent. If you were a lousy cook and kept the home filthy, how could he have accepted that for so many years until now ? It almost sounds as though he has decided to leave and go it alone, and wants to practice his cooking and cleaning skills to get them right before he does.
If he actually loves you, this is an odd way to show it, and he owes you an explanation and discussion about whatever is happening.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/17

He is going to dump you but will have to make a financial settlement as u have lived together for so long. His lawyer may have advised him to take on more domestic duties so he can legally say you were not doing all the house hold chores.

You really should have married to be more secure, living with a man 4 six years without a legal commitment was fool hardy.....as u will find out by gett.ing legal advice

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Beth | 2012/01/17

He shud help bcos he wants to not bcos he feels u r not cleaning the way he wants.I mean sfter all this yrs u have bin doin it then why complain now....He does not love u anymore sori to say it but my dear it''s better 2 leave cos I cant imagine staying in the house with someone who does not have time 4 u...gudluk

Reply to Beth
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/17

Maybe you do know. Odd that he seems to have changed, and become involved in household chores to an obsessive extent. If you were a lousy cook and kept the home filthy, how could he have accepted that for so many years until now ? It almost sounds as though he has decided to leave and go it alone, and wants to practice his cooking and cleaning skills to get them right before he does.
If he actually loves you, this is an odd way to show it, and he owes you an explanation and discussion about whatever is happening.

Reply to cybershrink

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