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Question
Posted by: Baby | 2011-09-18

Confused

I''m in a relationship and we are both expats. Everything is going very well until my partner is going on rotation. He will then for days not contact me and when he eventually does, he will have lame excuses. I dont know what to think ..... I''m attractive and look well after my body. I''m not sure if he is having another relationship elsewhere.... Problem is...I love him..

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Long-distance relationships are never easy, and as expats, you may both lack the usual buffers of family and long-term friends that might otherwise help.
But it sounds as though part of the problem here might be a very modern problem of unrealistic expectations. because it is potentially so easy to contact each other, ( cellphone, skype, SMS, e-mail, etc ), we tend to expect very frequent contacts, even though the other person may be termionally jet-lagged, very busy with a crucial phase of their work, indeed might have many different reasons for simply not being free to make frequent contacts.
In the Old Days, not all that long ago, the best you had were very expensive long-distance landline calls, usually saved for dire emergencies, and waiting a week or more for an airmail letter. And if it was a month or two before you heard from them, you didn't worry unduly.
Presumably he goes to this distant place with a lot of work to do - why would he want to complicate his life by rushing into another relationship with anyone else ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-09-19

Long-distance relationships are never easy, and as expats, you may both lack the usual buffers of family and long-term friends that might otherwise help.
But it sounds as though part of the problem here might be a very modern problem of unrealistic expectations. because it is potentially so easy to contact each other, ( cellphone, skype, SMS, e-mail, etc ), we tend to expect very frequent contacts, even though the other person may be termionally jet-lagged, very busy with a crucial phase of their work, indeed might have many different reasons for simply not being free to make frequent contacts.
In the Old Days, not all that long ago, the best you had were very expensive long-distance landline calls, usually saved for dire emergencies, and waiting a week or more for an airmail letter. And if it was a month or two before you heard from them, you didn't worry unduly.
Presumably he goes to this distant place with a lot of work to do - why would he want to complicate his life by rushing into another relationship with anyone else ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Honest | 2011-09-18

The only desription you give yourself is attractive who looks after your body. Maybe thats all he sees too?
If he offers lame excuses and makes you unhappy maybe this is just a physical relationship! Maybe u should question your self respect and his respect for you. Without respect it is unlikely this relationship has any potential to start talking about love...........

Reply to Honest
Posted by: Maria | 2011-09-18

I''m not quite sure what " on rotation"  means but I assume that means he goes to work somewhere else for a while. I suggest you pay a surprise visit to him at this other site to see what you can see. Some men do just get so caught up in work that they don''t think of contacting the woman in their lives, however his lack of communication sounds excessive. I hate to say this but it reminds me of the sailor with a girl in every port...

Reply to Maria

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