Posted by: ria | 2011-07-04


Ive been married for 15 years. 2 Years ago I had an affair with a woman. I told my husband everthing and he encouraged the relationship. We have not been 2geter as husband and wife since. I ended the affair and moved back into his bedroom. I cant get mysef to have sex with him. I have not been unfaithfull since. He now started smssing someone and I found out 2 days ago. I am emotional and confused but I understand he needs love. We had a good marraige. We still love each other. He doesnt know what to do and doesnt give me straight answers. We drifted apart so much. Can we safe this? How do I cope with my feelings for other woman? How can I let him go....?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

It sounds like it's time for you to have an honest look at your life and your feelings. 15 years is a long time together and even if new feelings are being born, there is 15 yrs of memories that can't be shaken off just like that. You are confused and rightfully so. You love your husband but you obviously struggle with regaining your intimacy. For your sake and your husband's and the love you have for each other, talk to each other. A good 15 year marriage means you must be able to talk together. Share your confusion and allow him to express his. Don't look for a quick fix but it's worth taking time addressing everyone's feelings. You could also seek some counselling, not necessarily to save your marriage but to assist you in the opposite direction you are both seeking.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011-07-05

I think you have a choice to make. You cannot have it both ways.

Reply to Romany

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