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Question
Posted by: Worried | 2011/05/14

Confused

I''m married now for 4 years but have been together for 7 years and now separated for 2 months. We have 3 beautiful children 10 &  7 boys, and 15 months girl. The reason for our separation is based on so many unresolved past issues. I went to therapy and started to re-discover myself and in the process realised so much about myself. This lead to realising I may have made a mistake by being married. I wanted to find myself and I found it hard to do it while he was around. Throughout this separation, I''ve experienced different emotions, anger, resentment (towards him &  myself), acceptance of the situation, loving my space, realing a lot about my decisions, and through all this, I learned to see where I got it wrong. When we met we immediately had our first boy, moved in together, and he was not working. I did not have a problem with that initially but i would mention to him the importance of him working towards getting a job  until it got to a point where I couldn''t take his lazyness. At this stage, he is fighting to put his life in order and he''s also fighting to get back to me. I''m scared, I don''t trust he''ll hold on to being a provider. I think he knows how hard-working I am and to him, it''s a comforting thing that i now think it is the reason he wants me back. My problem is only now I am dealing with all that he''s given me, pain, disappointment, lack of communication and many other negative things he''s done to me, one I never want to reveal is he also hit me at some point in our marriage because he suspected i had a relationship with someone else. I''m confused, some days i want to ask him to come back home, but there''s this voice that keeps asking me if I will manage to live with his character, I''m too ambitious, I''m a go-getter and I want to archieve more than i think he wants to. He''s a bit reserved, well, to me, he doesn''t communicates with me, even the simplest things like share his day with me. He is a loving father, extremely present in our children''s life, he is a charming person and is loving  but I dont know if i need more time before i could ask him back. please assist

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Answered the other time this question was posted

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Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/14

Answered the other time this question was posted

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