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Question
Posted by: lost | 2010/11/05

confused

I have managed to stay physically away from my abusive boyfriend, I still take his calls for some strange reason, I feel guilty if I dont pick up, its taken me six years to gather the strength to leave him, he slept with two other woman that i know of , spat in my face , called me a -|- ing hoar and threw on the road at the time, smashed four different flats of mine and so on, he does not stop calling me come hell and high water and claims to love me to the death and is sorry and wont take drugs and will give up drinking. I waited for all this to stop for six years and there were millions of exuses and so on. Anyhow I''ve been very good in staying away from him and not allowing him to come over, as i CANNOT handle the pain that goes with the abuse. Now i got a call this moring from him asking me is there anything I need, ie money food and so on, its extremely tempting
but I have to say no, what are others opion on all of this, for some reason I feel like i''m rejecting him , what the hell is wrong with me

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Stop taking the abuser's calls - block his number on your phone. And see a counsellor experienced in working with abused women, to help you block the bad habits of maintaining any form of contact with the abuser. And get a court interdict to forbid him from approaching or contacting you. He won't stop being a nuisance unless he has to do so.
And start working with a group like POWA that help[s abused women escape from both the specific abuser and the habits of being abused

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: confused | 2010/11/05

dankie apple

Reply to confused
Posted by: lizard | 2010/11/05

please can you tell me a little bit about the second question

Reply to lizard
Posted by: Apple | 2010/11/05

Seker omdat jy `n sagte hartjie het en julle `n geskiedenis het - alhoewel jy " abuse"  was, was daar ook seker goeie tye, so daar is steeds gevoelens vir die ou. Sekerlik nie gevoelens van liefde as silks nie, maar soos ek genoem het: julle was vir 6 jaar saam en het `n geskiedenis.

Moet nie toegee aan sy oproepe nie... wees sterk!

Baie sterkte vir jou en hou moed.

Reply to Apple
Posted by: lost | 2010/11/05

my question to the above is, i''m supposed to be rejecting him but why do I feel guilty and sorry for him, why do I feel like I dont want to hurt his feelings or make him feel bad, when he did not care what happened to me, why do I care what happens to him

Reply to lost
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/05

Stop taking the abuser's calls - block his number on your phone. And see a counsellor experienced in working with abused women, to help you block the bad habits of maintaining any form of contact with the abuser. And get a court interdict to forbid him from approaching or contacting you. He won't stop being a nuisance unless he has to do so.
And start working with a group like POWA that help[s abused women escape from both the specific abuser and the habits of being abused

Reply to cybershrink

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