Our expert says:
DO you really find this excessive empathy ( maybe based on excessive identification with her ) actually a useful response for a PARENT ? You don't HAVE to go through this with her or your other children. When she feels sad, your sadness is of no value for her - it could make her feel worse ( and could also, most unhelpfully, make her reluctant to tell you about how she feels ) and it certainly puts you in a much worse position to comfort her and help her to feel better. And in an emergency, you could be too bust "feeling her pain" to be as helpful as she needed.
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