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Question
Posted by: Tebogo | 2010/08/17

CONFUSED

My boyfriend had decided that it is time we ended our 10 month long distance relationship because he is lonely at times and that he wants to get married one day and that there is no hope in us continueing the relationship (but before we got involved we did discuss the distance issue and we were both okay with it, and we agreed that i should at least be working for a year at my current employer before i start applying for a job closer to him or applying for a transfer, i would be completing a year at the end of October 2010). I used to visit him at least two weekends in a month (From Friday and leave Monday Morning), and some months i would spend a whole week with him. And we made plans about one day getting married having about two more kids. I tried to save the relationship but to no avail, and i have decided to pick up the pieces right now and move on with my life and forget about him.

What confuses me about him is that he is been texting me about how much he misses me and that he still loves me and that he always will, that he still believes that i am his and that we will be together and he will make a plan about that. And when i respond by saying that it is not too late and that we should get back together again, he would then refuses. I really don''t know what he wants from me. I''m really confused, i just don''t know what to do, because when i feel like no im okay and moving on with my life without him then he just texts me and starts confusing me all over again. What could his problem be and the real reason for the break up because i now just don''t believe that it has to do with the distance. Please Help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Situations change, don't they ? And how we feel about them. One may decide that the distance issues won't be allowed to bother us - but they may still bother us.
But as the end of the year you agreed between you is near ( and a year isn't an enormously long time, especially with the amount of contact you managed to work out ) itsd a shame if he wants to give up now. One wonders what sort of plan he is making about being eternaly together, when he is actually ending the relationship now.
I suspect you're right, that his reason for breaking up right now is not about the distance. I wonder whether he has found another relationship which has no distance limitations at all ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/17

Situations change, don't they ? And how we feel about them. One may decide that the distance issues won't be allowed to bother us - but they may still bother us.
But as the end of the year you agreed between you is near ( and a year isn't an enormously long time, especially with the amount of contact you managed to work out ) itsd a shame if he wants to give up now. One wonders what sort of plan he is making about being eternaly together, when he is actually ending the relationship now.
I suspect you're right, that his reason for breaking up right now is not about the distance. I wonder whether he has found another relationship which has no distance limitations at all ?

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