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Question
Posted by: KT | 2010/06/02

Confused

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now, sometime in April my friend saw him in a club with another woman and since then this woman always in our life. She calls him and he wont answer the phone when I''m around. last nite we were watching TV then this woman called again and he switched off the phone. I asked him about her in April and he confessed and apologized that he was with her in a club. But she keeps on calling him all the time even after midnight, we again had a fight about her calls. My boyfriend doesn''t like arguments and I''m avoiding issues that will lead us to argue, but I''m so hurt and want to discuss this woman issue because I think he is still seeing this woman and that''s cheating on me, I don''t know if I should keep quite or confront him. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

mpho makes good sense. If he also found these calls unwelcome, he wouldn't hide them, and could stop them - by telling her to stop, changing his number, even getting a court order.
You're avoiding talking about how much this hurts you, for fear that he may get upset ? Don't your feelings count ? It very reasonably leads you to suspect he may be cheating on you in some way, and if your relationship with him is to grow in a wholesome way, you two do need to talk about this. It need not be a Confrontation, but it does need to be clear and unambiguous. Rather than making angry accusations, describe what you see and how it makes you feel, and ask him to help you understand what is going on

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Friend | 2010/06/03

just call this chick and tell her you''re his girlfriend and ask why she''s calling all the time

Reply to Friend
Posted by: Happiness | 2010/06/03

Why bother except if you are willing to share? Move on. Sometimes we really sell ourselves short in the name of " love" 

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: mpho | 2010/06/02

if you keep quite it will just continue, and will never stop, if she is still calling, then something is definitely going on. get to the bottom of it, i have experieced the same thing. long painful story. whatever you do, make it clear to him that what he is doing is not acceptable and will onlu serve to break u up

Reply to mpho
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/02

mpho makes good sense. If he also found these calls unwelcome, he wouldn't hide them, and could stop them - by telling her to stop, changing his number, even getting a court order.
You're avoiding talking about how much this hurts you, for fear that he may get upset ? Don't your feelings count ? It very reasonably leads you to suspect he may be cheating on you in some way, and if your relationship with him is to grow in a wholesome way, you two do need to talk about this. It need not be a Confrontation, but it does need to be clear and unambiguous. Rather than making angry accusations, describe what you see and how it makes you feel, and ask him to help you understand what is going on

Reply to cybershrink

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