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Question
Posted by: mikey | 2010-05-11

confused

i read an article last year which says that 40 % of men tend to divorce a partner who has a chronic ailment like Multiple Sclerosis amongst other chronic illnesses.

I have had a debilitating disorder from before i married 10 yrs ago, in fact it started while i was dating my current husband so he was well aware of my health condition. I was wrongly diagnosed and last year received the final correct diagnosis of MS. This year he has changed totally and is even wanting a divorce. Late hours, lack of sleep, over working, stress symptoms, turning 40, mid life crisis symptoms, cant tell me what i ''ve done wrong, says its him, he confused re life .... just totally weird behaviour and talk of a motorbike hence i label it a MLC.

Do you think there is any SMALL chance that all this could be due to the MS diagnosis last year, can he really change after 10 yrs because of my illhealth even though i am on the best meds (paid fully by his medical aid) and i have not had a relapse in over a year, the prognosis given to me was a good one and my neurologist is optimistic, yet i find my life falling apart... I was supposed to have terrible side effects on the meds i am taking (Interferon Rebif) like depression/moods/flu like symptoms and have not had any. I go about my duty as mother and wife and inject myself weekly never depending on him or anyone to do it for me or feel sorry for me, after all i am in good health.

Pls give your honest opinion!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

MS is a very difficult illness to cope with, being so varying in how it affects you at different times, and in what is often a very dificult diagnosis to make at first.
But it sounds as though your husband is experiencing difficulties in his own life and in his own right, maybe coloured by your own problems, but essentially his and maybe he is no dealing well with them, which requires him to recognize that they exist and to seek such expert help as he needs.
MLC sounds like the right diagnosis ( the motorbike is almost diagnostic !) - and may make him feel all the more unable to cope with the implications of your recent diagnosis. But I really don't think your diagnosis or illness can be the explanation, or excuse, for his recent confusions and failure to cope well.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: mikey | 2010-05-11

To Maria yes its easier said then done, you can take a horse ot the water but you cant force it to drink, so here i sit and wonder when he is going to fall apart medically and leave me a widow with kids. All because of his stubborness!

Reply to mikey
Posted by: Maria | 2010-05-11

You have been married to your husband for 10 years, if you don''t know what is going on in his head then it''s unlikely that strangers on a website will be able to figure it out. It sounds to me as if he could be suffering from depression. Encourage him to at least go for a checkup at his gp.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-11

MS is a very difficult illness to cope with, being so varying in how it affects you at different times, and in what is often a very dificult diagnosis to make at first.
But it sounds as though your husband is experiencing difficulties in his own life and in his own right, maybe coloured by your own problems, but essentially his and maybe he is no dealing well with them, which requires him to recognize that they exist and to seek such expert help as he needs.
MLC sounds like the right diagnosis ( the motorbike is almost diagnostic !) - and may make him feel all the more unable to cope with the implications of your recent diagnosis. But I really don't think your diagnosis or illness can be the explanation, or excuse, for his recent confusions and failure to cope well.

Reply to cybershrink

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