Posted by: Jasmine | 2009-07-31



Pls help me I' m so confused I started a new relationship with somone whilst still living with my ex BF for 4yrs relationship. My ex broke up with me for a fickle excuse and then I continued to stay with him and we acted like a couple and then I moved out and I accepted the marriage offer from my new BF but things didn' t go so well for us because of religious views but at the sametime we are very happy if we block religion out. But, in the interim my ex contacted me and i started comparing the two of them. and broke up the engagement but then my ex started to call me and I told him everthing that was happning in my relationship and he now wants to reconcile but he emotionally abuses me by saying nasty things and accusing me of really hurting him and that I had an affair. BUT I didn' t he was satisfied when i just carried on being a GF to him with no other commitments only when I moved out did he want to make it up to me. But I was already moving on the thing is I am now seeing the two of them because I like the things each of them have that is unique. With my current BF we never fight yet physically and emotionally we bond but with my ex we fight all the time and I am not attracted to him physically but we share the same interests and have fun together when we are not fighting. I am feeling so guilty of acting...what should I do?

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Our expert says:
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Its a bit odd to "break up" with someone, and then live with them for 4 years. Anyhow, emotional abuse is not a good sign. Would he be prepared to see a relationship counsellor with you, to see if this can beavoided, and the relationship improved ? If not, its not wise to stay with even a potentially abusive man who won't take the responsibility to try to change things for the better. I don't think you need to feel guilty, but it seems odd that you're prepared to put up with someone who fights with you and hurts you at least emotionally, just because there's some fun in between ? Maybe some personal counselling would help you to clarify what you want and how to get it

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