Posted by: Didi | 2009-04-23


Dear Cyber Shrink
I have been married for 7 years, and recently moved out.
The reason? my husband irritates me! i have a very good husband, kind, caring, very soft hearted. Just sometimes feels like he is to soft for me, he agrees with everything i says, and i most makes all the decisions. It just feels like i have no respect for him anymore. I want a divorce, because i just feel dead towards him. I think im very ungratefull, because like i said he is very good to me. He wants us to try again, he says that he will do anything and evertything to change, and to get me back home. my question is: can my feelings towards him change? can i fall in love with him again? im so confused! dont know what to do. When he is not with me, i miss him, but when i see him he irritates me, he just does everything to please me! Please help me, and what can i do to help him? i really need someone who has a opinion of their own.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Has he become softer over the years, or have your expectations changed ? Have you, perhaps, become more asertive ? Why, after all these years, such a sudden and firm decision to break up ? Why not try some marriage counselling, not as a way of forcing you to stay together, but as a way of understanding what has been happening, and making a wiser, informed, and more thoughtful decision ? Could your feelings for him change AGAIN ? Why not ? They seem to have fairly recently changed from what they were previously.
As Really points out, you are determined to leave a man who provides everything most women want in a man. WOuld you pefer him to be LESS understanding and kindly ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Didi | 2009-04-23

No, doc he hasnt changed. im the one who has changed, it just seemed that i now look for different things in a partner, than what i did years ago. i feel that i have a problem, and need help. dont know what wrong with me. went to see someone from church who specialises in things like this. she says she thinks i have depression, so i went to the docter, and he gave me nuzak.Dont feel any better though, have been using it for about 2 weeks.i Just wish i could love him again, and wonder if i really try hard if my feelings wont change? would seeing a psyciatrist help me? My husband really doesnt deserve this! What is wrong with me?

Reply to Didi
Posted by: Really | 2009-04-23

You happen to be the first person that I have heard of who has a problem with a partner that loves them truely and does everything for them to make sure they are happy.

Are you sure you want to leave this man for being a companion that does everything to keep peace in the relatioship and wants to please you? Itsn' t it true that the man shall be the provider to the woman and the woman shall love and respect her loving man.... I would do anything to trade places with you.. not that I am not happy in my relatioship, just that sometimes and in most relationships, there is a power struggle and in the end we all lose focus and end up in tears and heart breaks when it could all be avoided!!!!

Think carefully before you act... you could lose a really great man.......

Reply to Really

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