Posted by: Dudu | 2009-04-06


Good day

I am an HR Manager by profession and dating a man for 8 years and he is a clerk in our local high school.
My mother who is a single parent doesn’ t want him and his family doesn’ t want him to marry me not until I have a child first.
I have my own car and my own townhouse.
He doesn’ t have either and he’ s still stays with his parents.
My mother thinks he’ s just using me and she is starting to arrange dates for me with the so called successful man that she thinks are on my level.
I love him to death and he says he wants a baby with me.
I am 30 and he is 35

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Our expert says:
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I don't quite understand, Dodu. You have an excellent job, from the sounds of it, and maybe he has a more humble job, but you find him loveable. Now others want to interfere. Your family apparently rejects him --- why ? Because he isn't rich enough for them ? His family wants you to have a child ( presumably by him ) first --- do they really feel you ahve to prove your fertility to them ? I think many people nowadays are caught between the customs of the culture in years gone by, and the way most people actually live today. and many people pick out of the culture only those bits which suit them. His parents ought to appreciate your job, home and car as a sign that you are a very competent woman. Your parents may more reasonable have concerns about whether he has the drive and ambition to become any more than he is, and to lead an independent life as a husband, rather than as a son. If you are both sure of your love for each other, the only questions remaining are how, together, tobest deal with the expectations of your families. Are there any friendly members of his and your family who could help mediate and at least talk it over with you ? Or maybe a professional counsellor ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: loveboat | 2009-04-06

if you love him and he loves you then whats the problem?

Reply to loveboat

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