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Question
Posted by: CECE | 2009-02-24

Confused

I have had a really bad 3 months. First I found out that my Fiance and b/f of 6yrs has been having an affair with someone from work, which he still denies to date.Then on the 01st of Feb my father comitted suicide by hanging himself, leaving no note, so till today the family doesn' t know why. I haven' t questioned it, just feel he had his reasons. The only time i broke down was on the day and again at the funeral. I feel so confused! Is there something wrong with me, I feel no emotion concerning the incident. Friends say they are worried because it seems I' m taking it too lightly. I have days where I feel like crying, but nothing comes out.I always picture him hanging, I didn' t see him because people prevented me from doing it, I identified the body, but I just feel if I saw him hanging I would have had closure. Do I need help?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So sorry to hear about all this loss and sorrow. Its a pity that people, however desperate they may be when they decide to commit suicide, don't recognize the suffering they will cause to others who cared about them.
There's nothing wrong with you. A typical and common reaction to the death of a loved one, especially when sudden, unexpected and shocking, is a form of denail in which one feels very little for a time. Generally, the felings return later, perhaps after some other far lesser loss.
While its understandable that well-meaning people may try to sheild you from unpleasant aspects of a tragic event like that, as you have found, one's imagination tends to fill the void, and what one imagines may be even worse than what was actually there. Seeing a grief counsellor may indeed help --- and maybe your local hospice could recommend someone with experience in this field.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sympathy | 2009-02-25

So very sorry to hear about your situation. its all very traumatic. I would cerainly go to see a shrink ( I dislike that term, its so demeaning but i can' t spell psychiatrist)for a course of consultations not just a one off visit. They are excellent at putting situations in order and will help you deal with your problems in a permanent fashion. The problem is, is that if you don' t get professional help, these thoughts of confusion etc will never ease. At least the shrink will put things in perspective. As for your cheating partner, please just get rid of him. He will just continue to give you grief, he is a louse and a lair and not worth a moments more of your affections. Good luck girl !

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